By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML I agree, your life sucks 48 169 You deserved it 11 692
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 697 You deserved it 6 115
Today, it's been three months since I had a GI virus. In this time, all the tests I've done so far came out negative at the doctor's. I've changed my diet, haven't drank alcohol, nor was I a habitual drinker. The bouts of nausea and vomiting keep coming back on random days. I cannot get the right amount of nutrients. FML I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 63
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 884 You deserved it 2 596
Today, my dad offered to make me lunch as it was my first day at a new school. Today was also the day I had to eat a penis-shaped sandwich in front of my new peers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 783 You deserved it 276
Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 566 You deserved it 228
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.