Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:55 - Canada - London

Today, I got on the bus to do some errands. Im severly clumsy and the bus driver didnt wait for me to sit down, i got launched into 3 cute guys. They laughed at me and dumped me on the floor. FML

420

humanrobot - 06/05/2016 22:54 - United States

Today, I'm so poor that instead of buying new shoes, I hot glued my work shoes back together. FML.

334

davisjenny81 - 06/05/2016 22:35 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my best friend that I love him. Today, he died in a car accident. FML

689

phone glitch - 06/05/2016 22:25

Today, due to a glitch in my now ex's phone, I receive her break up text every 10 minutes. This has been going on for three days now. FML

366

Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:25 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, my boyfriend said I look like Ted Cruz. I'm a 15-year-old girl. FML

332

Anonymous - 06/05/2016 22:25 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, my boyfriend said I look like Ted Cruz. I'm a 15-year-old girl. FML

169

xMVP_Shockwave - 06/05/2016 22:10 - United States - Roanoke Rapids

Today, my date told me she thought I knew she was going out with me to make her crush jealous. I had no clue. FML

161

blue steak - 06/05/2016 22:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, a customer ordered a rare steak at the restaurant I work at. He then complained that the meat wasn't cooked properly and started shouting at the other customers claiming we were trying to poison him. It took 12 of us to explain to him what rare really means. He still tried to sue. FML

180

captain_mr_kitty - 06/05/2016 21:54 - United States - Chicago

Today,i come home from school to see my cat had taken my clothes from my floor while i was gone and put them in her litter box and shat on them.

137

anon - 06/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Stroudsburg

Today, my mouth has been severely dry and had itchy red bumps for a week, I was beginning to think I had an STD so I went to the doctors. Turns out, it's poison Ivy. FML.

135

Dead calculator - 06/05/2016 21:49 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I failed a calculator maths test. Why? Because when the test started, my calculator stopped working, and the person sat next to me refused to let me burrow one of his four spare calculators. FML

150

worthypegram1 - 06/05/2016 21:41 - United States

Today, my bunny projectile peed in my face after I accidentally scared him. I had just showered. FML

215

megankh - 06/05/2016 21:31 - United States - Tempe

Today, I was supposed to get my braces off, but when I went to the orthodontist, they discovered that I had to get oral surgery and have my braces on for another year. FML.

229

Sammy - 06/05/2016 21:29 - United States - Danville

Today, while laying in bed with my husband he suggested we have sex. Me being almost 6 months pregnant wasn't in the mood so he decides to jack off... but uses my hand nearly ripping my arm off in the process. FML

218

theeggsarescrambled - 06/05/2016 21:25 - United States - New Fairfield

Today, my uterus has cramped so badly that I can't even stand upright. FML

178

JP - 06/05/2016 21:23 - United States - Mount Dora

Today, I was offered a great job as a programmer for Disney. As I was filling out the initial paperwork and signing the job offer letter, the recruiter called me back. Disney decided not to move forward. FML

190

Don John De Marco - 06/05/2016 21:10 - United States - Bethesda

Today, girl at the window of a Wendy's has been real chatty with me. Drive through yesterday & she hit me with a 'You better come back' due to the fact I hadn't seen her in a while. Went today & gave my number, told her to text me. She texted asking that I fill out a customer survey...FML.

178

stalkinator - 06/05/2016 21:02 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I learned my alarm clock will beep for an hour. This is because I slept through the beeping, and woke up when it stopped, exactly one hour after I set it to go off. FML

162

Fee - 06/05/2016 20:56 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, a delivery can reversed into my driveway, crashing into my car's bumper and smashing the wheel arch. After being suitably humiliated, the driver gave me his company's insurance details. It was the same company that had previously torn my kitchen vinyl delivering a washing machine. FML

188

Ian Ideomotor - 06/05/2016 20:48 - United States - Rock Island

Today my wife cut my hair for the first time using an electric razor. After she made the first pass at the back of my head she said "ops". She forgot to install the razor guard (#4). Now I have a reverse Mohawk. FML.

S-t-t-utterin Steve - 06/05/2016 20:48 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, while at work, a man came in with his wife. The man had a stutter. A couple of minutes later, I was talking to my coworker about his stutter. The wife then came up and slapped me upside the head for "mocking her husband". I have the same stutter. FML

122

TacoMan32 - 06/05/2016 20:33 - Canada - Carstairs

Today, some guy bought my girlfriend a $1200 gift. She's perfectly fine with this, and sees no problem with forcing me to be there when he gives her the gift. FML

190

anonymous - 06/05/2016 20:33 - United States - Nashville

Today, I was planning on sleeping in after a very long week of school, but to my surprise I was woken up by a wasp stinging me on my chest at 7 AM. FML

105

short end of the stick - 06/05/2016 20:25 - United States

Today, our club went on a spring trip. One of our stops was an amusement park. I was too short to go on anything other than the kiddie rides, and ended up the bag holder. FML

100

oops - 06/05/2016 20:15 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, I made the fatal mistake of mentioning to my group in Gym class of straight guys that I have a strong grip. They won't stop asking me if my grip comes in "handy". I have to deal with this until the group project in this class is over. FML

135

slipperywhenwet - 06/05/2016 20:01 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have to keep a towel within arms reach of my bathtub because the tub in my rental is so slick and so irrationally angled that nothing will stick to it and I have to be able to cover myself the next time I inevitably fall and injure myself in the shower. Again. FML

106

kms - 06/05/2016 19:46 - United States

Today, My parents found my Twitter account full of satirical suicide memes. They have no sense of humour whatsoever. You can guess what happened next. FML

108

aleowe1 - 06/05/2016 19:39 - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I got a call from my boss and he told me I was being fired for not being an important attribute to the work place.. a few hours later the same manager calls me asking why I'm not at the store working my shift. FML

RoseRodent - 06/05/2016 19:23 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my neighbour threw away a bunch of my stuff from my (separate, private) side alley, because they use their side alley to store junk for throwing out. They refuse to accept they did anything wrong, we should be grateful because it cost them a lot of money to hire the skip they put it in. FML

106

MikaykayUnicorn - 06/05/2016 19:11 - United States

Today, I accidentally butt dialed my dad whilst swearing at a lady while driving. My dad is very anti-swearing and he hear all of it. Guess who's grounded? FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

29 640

4 105

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

43 314

4 936

Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

2 608

436

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

37 991

5 717

Today, I walked into a conference room for what I thought was my department meeting. It turned out to be a support group for people with anger management issues. They weren't pleased with my suggestion to "calm down." FML

134

524

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

4 434

590