Swimming pool

Haunted by you

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 09:00 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, I met an old school friend at a leisure centre swimming pool. We talked for a while and then walked to the end of the pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she kneed me in the nuts and pushed me into the water. Once I got up from the water, she told me It was for being mean to her at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 943

Sticky boi

By emonsteadman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 653

You deserved it 3 440

So, about that second date…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 706

Slick moves

By Frank - 30/12/2024 20:00 - Australia - Daylesford

Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 512

The language of love

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 724

You deserved it 4 502

Thorn in my side

By CantPublish - 15/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 115

You deserved it 5 001

My pleasure, lady

By Semius - 08/05/2019 05:00

Today, I saved a young girl from drowning in a hotel pool with no lifeguards on duty. The girl's mother was too busy on her phone to notice what was happening, and when I called out to her, she started yelling at her daughter for going in too far. Never bothered to thank me for saving her kid either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 169

Tanned pits

By huulo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 645

You deserved it 28 416

Teaching moment

By poolboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 670

You deserved it 9 403

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 114

You deserved it 4 474

Entitled

By hate this job - 09/06/2021 19:59

Today, a 300 lb woman caused a huge scene at the public pool where I work. She accused me of fatshaming and swore to sue me for discrimination. I asked her to cover up, as her 3x too small string bikini went against the pool’s dress code. I don’t make the rules, I just have to enforce them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 125

I'm working over here, leave me alone!

By lifeguardfuckup - 14/02/2019 15:17 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 944

You deserved it 8 523

Tyranny

By luh8r - 09/04/2009 14:38 - Canada

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year-olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and led the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty, and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 277

You deserved it 4 702

Shower time

By poolboy - 23/07/2012 04:28

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later, while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 2 819

The customer is mainly an ass

By DeniseT26 - 09/04/2022 02:00

Today, at the hotel I work, I was at the pool folding towels. A girl comes in wearing a thong bikini bottom. Our rules prohibit thong swimsuits. When I pointed it out at her, she called me a “jealous fat bitch.” Turns out she left a one star review on Google, saying I was “rude” to her. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 244

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 16 218

What the hell?

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 22:00

Today, one of my friends came over to go swimming in my pool. Before going back into the house, as it's all carpeted, I automatically took off my trunks, forgetting about my friend. I realized my mistake when my friend commented on my abnormally long foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 1 542

In my day…

By thanks dad - 01/08/2020 02:02

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 292

Not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 823

You deserved it 6 712

No warning

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 522

Tin bathtub

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 00:02

Today, I finally bought an above ground pool, as wifey has insisted on one for a loooong time. It didn't cost too much, but wifey is all sulky cause it appears that a 1.8 x 3.8 x 0.9 meter pool is TOO BIG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 168

Litter

By MrSlav - 12/11/2020 17:57 - Lithuania - Siauliai

Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 193

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 524

Spread

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 22:31 - United States

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 789

You deserved it 2 240

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 163

Public freakout time

By Roode - 22/07/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 636

You deserved it 5 517

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 795

You deserved it 6 176

Bumpy ride

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 116

Big lad

By Stronk - 17/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I severely underestimated how strong I am when I attempted to dunk a basketball into a miniature basketball hoop at a swimming pool. I made it, but in doing so I made it fall over, despite the cinder blocks placed on the base specifically to prevent that from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 463

By mypoolisstilldirty - 16/02/2012 16:26 - Australia

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet, and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 334

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dogs Messy Animals Cute Love Cops Miscellaneous ACAB Sex Intimacy Thief NSFW Fight #FAFO Sexism Kids Parents Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Poopoo peepee Farts Gross Cheating Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 159

Today, my family cancelled coming for Christmas again for the third time in four years. I only get to see my son for a few hours in the morning, then I'll be on my own the whole time. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 156

Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 751

You deserved it 5 838

Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 3 000

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 489

You deserved it 5 648

Today, my new girlfriend took me on a double date with her, her best friend and her best friend's new girlfriend. Which would have been fine, if her best friend's girlfriend wasn't my recent ex. The small world of a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 046

You deserved it 1 678