Love

Yay my second FML posted! He was trying to do something nice. I wasn’t really that mad. He drove to the store and bought me more transmission fluid so we were fine. He’s a sweetheart, my oil never got changed though haha.

Anonymous - 18/06/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to break up with me was to move out of our apartment while I was at work, and then text me a video of himself having sex with another girl. FML

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Don’t know what to think - 16/06/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with an Eagles cheerleader. I found out when his dad proudly posted about it on Facebook. FML

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TCRII - 13/06/2018 15:52

Today, my estranged wife, who I am divorcing, asked me to find homes for our animals. I have a dog, which I am keeping. She has 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 pig, 3 goats, 2 horses and 54 chickens. FML

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Great first impression

Anonymous - 11/06/2018 20:30

Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML

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Sorry?

ExFutureGrandsonInLaw - 10/06/2018 19:00

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend's grandparents at church. After 5 minutes of catching up, my ex's frail grandmother asked me when I'm planning on "joining the family". I had to explain to them that their granddaughter had dumped me exactly 2 years before. She cried. FML

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Thanks.

Anonymous - 09/06/2018 13:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I asked a guy if I could finally meet his mom after we’ve been exclusive for almost a year now. He goes, "You’re special, but you’re not THAT special." FML

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Husband to be....maybe - 09/06/2018 09:00

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

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Gloria - 09/06/2018 05:00

Today, I got home with my 3 best friends in tow, only to find my husband fast asleep on the sofa, porn playing on his laptop, his boxers around his ankles, and a sticky white mess all down his thigh. I am so beyond mortified I can’t adequately describe how embarrassed I am. FML

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Boundaries please!

mary - 08/06/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML

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Carolyn Dee Humphrey - 07/06/2018 01:30

Today, I found out my friend and I have the same due date and the same baby daddy. It's my boyfriend of 9 years. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

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Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

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Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

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Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

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Today, I got my first positive Covid test. It's also the first day of a week-long vacation that included two things I'd been planning for weeks that I haven't done in years, and a trip somewhere I've been looking forward to for months. All shot to hell right before it began. FML

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Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

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