Gifts

Happy Birthday!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 7 753

Grumpy git

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 02:00

Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 130

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 16:00 - United States - North Reading

Today, after my wife just cashed in $160,000 in stock options, my Christmas present was two pairs of socks she bought with REI credit. I suppose it’s better than last year’s spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 127

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 170

Be grateful, you nitwit

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got my husband a really expensive Bulova watch. He asked for brown. I got him a brown and gold leather watch. He said it looked to much like the cheap $10 watch in his collection and asked if I could exchange it. I can’t - no refunds. Now we are fighting because he can’t express his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 131

Thanks, I guess…

By ButYTho - 06/11/2022 01:00 - Spain

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 269

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 237

Little brat

By Anonymous - 20/01/2022 17:01

Today, my 14 year-old daughter is so selfish that on her sister's birthday, she found the present, assumed it must be for her, opened it, then destroyed it when she saw it was frozen Anna and Elsa dolls because she hates Frozen. Her sister loves Frozen, and hasn’t stopped crying over Anna’s severed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 450

Christmas motivation?

By runfattyrun - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I got a gym membership for Christmas, from 3 different people. I think my family's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 795

You deserved it 1 423

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 07:02 - Palau - Angaur State

Today, I got gifted a US MRE Menu 4 Cheese and Veggie Omelette, despite the fact that this crap has been discontinued by the government, as well as probably expired, as a "Thank you for your service" gift. I thought they'd gotten rid of this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 124

Thanks, I hate it

By Andiii - 26/07/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 8 598

Sister of the year

By not my fault you got knocked up - 09/08/2020 20:02

Today, my older sister threw an epic tantrum, demanding that my parents not pay for my 21st birthday trip. She insists it’s not fair for them to gift me a trip, since she didn’t get to celebrate her 21st. She didn’t get to celebrate because she was pregnant. Now my mom wants to reconsider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 202

Boxing

By Jim - 23/01/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I gave my nephew a toy car as a gift. He opened it, looked at it for two seconds, and then spent the next hour playing with the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, I could’ve saved $20 and just bought him a box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 122

Recycling helps

By Julieworld - 24/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was able to find the Facebook profile of my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, for whom he left me for. I had been curious about who she was, and when I zoomed in on her profile pic of them together, I noticed she was wearing the ring he'd got me for Christmas and that I'd given back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 899

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 230

You deserved it 3 427

Perfect!

By BahHumbug - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Painesville

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 368

You deserved it 8 183

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…

By Anonymous - 22/03/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 238

Better late than never

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I realised that despite all my careful Christmas preparation, there is one thing I forgot to get. The gift for my wife, which I should've picked up from the shop I ordered it from. It’s sat in that shop right now at 7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m a dead man tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 589

One-sided

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 135

Moment of self-realization

By Bad fiancee - 19/12/2024 23:00 - Romania

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 611

Thanks for that

By bride2be - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 520

You deserved it 3 494

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I finally finished my Christmas shopping and felt like an absolute champion. That was until I got home and realized I'd left one of the shopping bags in the parking lot. The bag contained the most expensive gift I'd bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 207

Happy Birthday

By qwerty6 - 30/09/2009 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 402

You deserved it 5 552

Thanks, I hate it!

By thebabysitter - 14/08/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 025

You deserved it 5 358

Joy to the world

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, for Christmas, I got the 3-month anniversary of a constant cold and cough, my period, plus the diagnosis that I have been secretly left-handed for 40 years, and need to switch sides now if I want to unfuck my physical and mental health. What I still don't have are decent boots - I've been hunting them for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 158

"Your text here"

By Rerere - 24/02/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 594

Thoughtful

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 14:00

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend bought me a sword from a TV show called Game of Thrones. He seemed disappointed at my reaction, since he spent so much money on the limited edition version. I've never watched the show, and I also have never had any interest in swords, so I don't know what he was thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 146

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 1 449

Just a prank has its limits

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 354

You deserved it 3 304

Taking the piss

By birthday girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 376

You deserved it 4 274

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 2 683

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 539

You deserved it 5 650

Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 7 690

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 095

You deserved it 29 175

Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 3 419

Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 13 014