The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

New sensation

By Anon Y. Mous - 02/10/2015 04:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned what being stabbed in the leg by an ex feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 873

You deserved it 2 408

By strayy - 30/09/2015 06:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 640

You deserved it 2 353

Thanks, I feel better!

By anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 995

You deserved it 3 048

By theuglyone - 14/11/2016 19:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 834

Favoritism

By Damnlife123 - 21/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere, I said, "You're my favorite!" Now I'm sitting here, talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 280

You deserved it 130 967

By NoOrdinaryNZer - 30/10/2016 11:09 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, an old man, while I was working, asked me to spell average-length words. Confused, I refused. Turns out I was apparently taking too long counting the large amount of small change he'd given to me, and he assumed I couldn't count or spell. I study law, and I've learned basic calculus. Welcome to retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 802

You deserved it 1 022

Mummy's bravest little boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Hobart

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 420

You deserved it 785

By Benchlover - 10/10/2016 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized two things: how much time I've spent waiting between lectures, and just how bad my love life is. I found out that I get incredibly jealous when somebody sits on my favourite bench in the centre of the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 238

You deserved it 1 150

By anon - 30/08/2015 06:20 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 134

You deserved it 1 870

By stick - 20/10/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 349

You deserved it 172 066

By Anonymous - 17/09/2017 04:30

Today, after storing it for a year, driving it 750 miles to a new home, and waiting a week for a wall mount to come in, I was ready to hang the hand-painted, decorative window my brother gave me. The chain snapped as I picked it up and it shattered when it hit the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 275

You deserved it 403

By fabiennemorin35 - 30/08/2016 09:29 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 237

You deserved it 1 505

Entitled

By CP slave - 11/09/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, a man yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity when I told him his child wasn't tall enough to ride a roller-coaster. His daughter was about 3 years-old. The coaster is the second tallest in the world. I deal with morons like this every day, at minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 124

Hello?

By NoHappyEndings - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Dundalk

Today, it's been four weeks since I got a job offer after months of grueling interviews. I turned down other offers to accept the job, but I'm still unemployed because no one at the company will take my calls about my official start date. I've been ghosted by a corporate office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 429

By Anonymous - 18/08/2016 20:44 - United States - High Point

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 357

You deserved it 1 145

You tried…

By Emoney1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 7 009

Why do people do this?

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 157

By grosstoenail - 13/07/2016 05:04 - Canada - Courtice

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 353

You deserved it 1 048

Boomers

By CakeForBreakfast - 01/11/2019 02:00

Today, I asked my father if I could have my grandfather's old vinyls, record player, and vintage tube radio. He told me he threw those out years ago because, "Who listens to that crap anymore, now that we have mp3s?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 233

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 742

You deserved it 1 605

Cheat mode

By Kiki - 23/06/2016 23:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 998

You deserved it 1 123

By tiffylueg - 21/06/2016 13:38

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 256

You deserved it 1 521

Cunning

By Single Again - 07/03/2020 06:11

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 167

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 521

You deserved it 36 842

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 278

You deserved it 1 854

Always last

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Redding

Today, I found out that someone I once babysat got a girlfriend before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 827

You deserved it 1 753

Singalong

By shtzbutnogiggles - 17/05/2016 14:10 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 1 032

By Husband to be....maybe - 09/06/2018 09:00

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 434

You deserved it 246

Pubes of steel

By bushburn - 01/06/2020 02:00

Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice since his huge bush has left friction burns on my face and down below. He doesn’t see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 14:04 - United States - Bel Air

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 222

You deserved it 2 101

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 742

You deserved it 36 032

Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 839

You deserved it 12 954

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 2 207

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 097

You deserved it 2 536

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 220

You deserved it 21 396

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 494

You deserved it 6 665