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OP here with some details. I was not stomping down the holes when I fell. I was walking out to my car across the yard. I have poor vision and misjudged the lawn and turned my ankle. The moles were not harmed in my pushing down of their holes at any time. I push them down to prevent the grass from growing over sometimes 8inch high mounds in my lawn. Stomping the holes (not the moles) is for this reason! I didn't want to trip and here I am. Lmao. I mean karma is a bitch but damn. I'm like super animal activist to the point where I don't even have traps down for the suckers. To the knuckle dragger that said he hoped I broke it, you'll get yours just for spewing your ignorance. Of that I am certain. ;)

By Kitten - 06/09/2018 03:30

Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 13:30

Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 676

By h - 20/12/2018 00:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 918

You deserved it 609

By DontGive2Fox - 05/03/2019 04:00

Today, I had my first job interview and didn’t have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn’t speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 1 682

Slashing Prices Left and Right!

By Charity - 20/03/2017 17:00 - United States

Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 176

You deserved it 778

That escalated quickly

By Belgian girl - 22/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Lewes

Today, I became my one night stand's shrink as he went through the process of realising he might be bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 402

You deserved it 722

By Anonymous - 30/03/2017 20:00

Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 1 017

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

By Anonymous - 22/04/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my best female friend got dumped. Seeing how I was alone when I got dumped, I didn't want her to feel the same, so I was nice to her and tried to help her as much as I could. I've now been getting constant messages from our mutual friends, telling me to stop hitting on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 009

You deserved it 541

By Kate - 21/06/2017 02:00

Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 443

You deserved it 390

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 16:37 - Australia - Brisbane

Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 698

You deserved it 1 182

By Eric John Los - 29/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Haydenville

Today, I wore a coat that was too tight. The button gave way and quickly flew about ten feet to hit my very attractive new coworker right in the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 982

Science teacher

By Anonymous - 13/01/2020 18:00

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 767

You deserved it 259

By muscalata - 20/07/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend sent a text asking if I think she’s pretty. I replied "Yes, of course!" She then got mad and blocked me. Turns out she'd said "petty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 521

You deserved it 804

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 13:00

Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 2 849

Buddy Rich is not dead

By DrumrollPlease - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 728

You deserved it 2 169

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 472

You deserved it 1 326

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 02:21 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 079

You deserved it 2 286

By ujellybro234 - 01/12/2015 16:52 - United States - Brown City

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 797

You deserved it 1 890

ujellybro234 tells us more.

ujellybro234 18

Friday 4 December 2015 3:44

Hey OP here and wow didnt think this would pass! To all those people saying I should have stood up for myself earlier in my childhood I have one question. How was I, a 5'8'', 120 pound boy, supposed to fight off the 6 foot 200 pound lineman on our football team? Think before you comment. I wouldn't stand a chance.

By Anonymous - 24/04/2017 22:00

Today, a large number of people at my office don't realize that if the door to a stall is locked, it's occupied. While I can somewhat deal with people needlessly asking if it's occupied, what I can't deal with is someone looking over the stall to check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 245