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Transactional

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I set up a nice picnic style dinner in our living room for my wife. No special occasion, just because, but when she got home and saw it, all I got was a “great, and I suppose you’ll want sex for this?” then she made herself a sandwich and went to bed, no explanation. Why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 131

Frustrated girl

By Anonymous - 30/06/2025 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Al Ain City

Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 164

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 458

Hang in there

By Suligi - 06/07/2025 09:00 - Philippines

Today, I feel like a failure. I've lost my will, again, because of the fear that it might happen again, and things might not get better. But I'll still try and I hope (please Lord) things will go positively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 130

Pizza > Love

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 112

Beginner's protest

By Vegansux - 23/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 74

What have you been up to?

By I'm innocent I swear - 02/09/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 608

Skin deep

By I h8 my skin - 11/09/2025 15:00

Today, for the sixth time, I made a girl feel cherished and appreciated, only for her to pick someone else. I have vitiligo all over my skin and face, so girls typically don't look at me twice, and the potential girls I would like to date only "see me as a friend" and pick men with normal skin. I give up on love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 88

How many more to go?

By Joseph J - 06/10/2025 12:00

Today, my wife got home from a 8 day vacation with our daughter. She was instantly angry and yelling at me for not setting the new lights she asked me to install to the correct settings; mad at the paint job I spent hours on in our shower being “not professional enough”; irate that I got a Roomba. One hour down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 114

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 333

One in hole

By Anonymous - 17/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 115

Rave on

By Pain - 25/11/2025 22:00

Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 794

Technically, he's right

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 12:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of five months gave away all the jewelry his late grandmother left him to his daughter from an old relationship. I asked in shock what he plans to give my daughter, and he replied, "Uh, you know she's not my kid, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 349

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 27/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 131

Gotta start somewhere

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 107

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 453

There's still hope, then?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 20:00 - Nigeria

Today, I think I've finally lost my girl. I think she stopped liking me a while ago, but I didn't ask because I was afraid of the answer. We haven't texted in almost two days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 433

Balancing act

By KittyT - 27/02/2025 01:00 - Australia

Today, my physio told me that due to my illness, roller-skating is too ambitious an activity. I grieve who I used to be, and the life I used to be able to live… FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 77

Pesky kids

By Albert79 - 28/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 150

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 151

Mystery

By Gary - 14/03/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

Today, I was pulled into an office by the head of my college department. I was told that I was “making someone uncomfortable” but refused to elaborate on who it was, or what I’d done wrong. How am I supposed to fix a problem if I don’t know what the problem is? FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 92

Support needed

By Rick - 04/04/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, when I tried to talk about how I feel insecure, my fiancee ranted about how supportive she always is of me. Her idea of supportive is to say, "Oh, you'll be fine! You're amazing!", then get back on her phone or turn up the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 96

NIMBYs all over

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 133

Stalkerish

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of the cute guy sitting across from me on the train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just stared at me, clearly aware of what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 718

Cats hate Sundays

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 158

Red tape

By Justwantthedamnpackage - 06/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I have a time sensitive package from another country that has been sitting in customs for a week. USPS tells me that it’s customs’ responsibility. Customs tells me they processed it and it’s USPS’s responsibility. I can’t fucking win, can I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 80

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 78

Ground rules

By Katie - 22/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, my boyfriend and I tried bondage for the first time. After I was tied up, I discovered he has a tickling fetish, which is when I learned why you should ALWAYS have a safe word before bondage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 340

Snaked

By Drained - 30/05/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 73

Hooky

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 486

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The Top

Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 347

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 234

You deserved it 408

Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 178

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 989

You deserved it 8 761

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 871

You deserved it 10 503

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 2 030