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You're welcome

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 22:00

Today, my parents, who always bitch that they don't see me enough since we live in different states, completely ignored me during their early Thanksgiving visit and used me as a free hotel for my younger siblings. I maybe spent four hours with them during their three day stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 82

WAKEY WAKEY

By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 315

Write lists!

By No list - 23/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 295

Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 328

I can't breathe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 20:00

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 73

Life choices

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 09:00

Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 420

Go team!

By Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 329

Shot by both sides

By Anonymous - 21/12/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend was too busy having sex with my roommate to notice our accommodation being burgled. So now I don’t have a girlfriend, a rent paying roommate, a television, a PS5 or, for some reason, half of the books from my bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 70

One-wat street

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 265

Unilateral decision

By Crap - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, after reading about microplastics and taking a look at our ratty plastic containers, I tossed them all and spent some money buying some decent glass containers. My wife spent the evening giving me a metric ton of shit because apparently the crappy plastic containers were "sentimental." Fucking spare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 339

Indeed

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was deleting old contacts on WhatsApp of people I no longer talk to. Later, when I was very tired and was about to go to bed, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying love you and goodnight. It turns out it was actually my ex. Awkward! FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 430

First impressions

By Ethan - 04/12/2025 12:00

Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 252

Good luck with that, Carol

By Tired Barista - 08/12/2025 00:00

Today, this lady came in my Starbucks and once again asked if we have the glass teddy bear cup. That cup has been sold out for the past month or so. We explained, once again, that the cup was a “while supplies last” item. She screamed at us and threatened to sue if we “ruin her daughter’s Christmas.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 75

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 87

Bad dad

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 22:00

Today, my ex complained that the kids cry too much when they’re with him, so I must be telling them bad things about him. Well maybe if he showed up more than once every 6-8 months, the kids would know him better and be more comfortable with him. Court says I still have to continue give him access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 66

Lucky escape

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 453

Not funny

By Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 296

No more phone calls for today

By Jim - 09/12/2025 22:00

Today, I blurted out “Love you, bye!” at the end of a professional phone call. There was a long pause before he replied, “Uh… thank you for your help?” My coworkers heard everything. I'm now scared of my work phone ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 249

Lost the plot

By Petra - 18/12/2025 20:00

Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 102

Mixology

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 339

I ate being proved right

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 79

Unfair

By ilemonade2008 - 26/12/2025 00:00

Today, the most obnoxious customer came into my job. She surprisingly scrutinized everything I did. She even mentioned I didn’t offer our store credit card (I honestly forgot due to being overwhelmed by her rude attitude). Turns out she was a secret shopper. Apparently, I failed her little tests. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 70

Tick follows tock follows tick…

By Wiseguy - 03/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have reached the point in my life where you wait to see a dentist and get your wisdom teeth ripped out. I was warned about how miserably painful this is. However, no one seems to talk about how slow the time goes by. Tomorrow's the day, and so far today has been the longest day of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 150

Tailored

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 102

Let's call the whole thing off

By Foreshadowing - 10/12/2025 03:00

Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 118

Slander

By Some people just suck! - 15/12/2025 12:00

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 102

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 72

Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 352

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 50

Awkward

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 12:00

Today, I told my boyfriend about something that had happened “after you came to our school." He told me he'd gone to our school for every grade. I'd just never noticed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 431

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, while cleaning, I found a grocery bag with thongs in it. I took them out, smiled and jokingly asked my wife, who never wears them, if she's keeping secrets from me. Turns out she isn't and the bag is not hers. It's belongs to my 76-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 125

You deserved it 789

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 056

You deserved it 7 946

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 233

You deserved it 27 508

Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 483

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 67

Today, we found out my mother-in-law faked her terminal cancer diagnosis to guilt us into getting pregnant, so she could meet her first grand baby “before it's too late.” In no way can we afford this baby, we are already poor, so this will ruin us financially, yet she’s perfectly healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 1 614