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By fsdjhgasjlhg - 03/08/2013 06:46 - Australia - Cairns

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 929

You deserved it 4 995

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 10:58 - United States

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 2 691

By cyb3rbyte - 20/11/2015 18:23

Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 1 628

cyb3rbyte tells us more.

cyb3rbyte 20

Sunday 22 November 2015 4:34

I did get it resolved as we have a police officer in the parking lot before and after school. He vouched for me as he saw the guy doing the burnouts through his windshield. Thanks for the comments!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 064

You deserved it 3 076

By heatherfeather22 - 31/07/2014 03:28 - United States - Ottumwa

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 264

You deserved it 11 216

Cats rule, boys drool

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 3 019

By AnonymousUser - 05/05/2012 00:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 298

You deserved it 2 741

By gircos - 30/04/2014 00:10 - United States - Westerly

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 357

You deserved it 7 319

By crystalpistol - 16/08/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 922

You deserved it 16 336

By anonymous - 20/03/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 266

You deserved it 4 741

By MoonStarShine3 - 09/06/2015 16:12 - United Kingdom - Chorley

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 2 079

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 01:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 2 269

By w_t_f - 18/02/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 162

You deserved it 5 274

By Lebac - 14/04/2015 08:33 - United States - Burlington

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 819

You deserved it 4 092

'Tis the season to be jolly, falalala lala la la

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 2 893

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 02:49 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 283

You deserved it 2 886

By Lindsay - 07/02/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 455

You deserved it 44 169

Cheers

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 08:25 - Australia - Aspley

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 392

You deserved it 3 399

Shut up

By Anonymous - 21/01/2011 22:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 3 634

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 01:07 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 371

You deserved it 2 802

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 456

You deserved it 2 188

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 478

You deserved it 23 865

By Sleep. - 27/11/2014 07:06 - United States - Imperial

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 509

You deserved it 2 761

By JunkDex - 23/12/2015 07:45 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 1 704

You have been warned

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 13:18 - Sweden

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 986

You deserved it 41 208

By Verbex - 28/05/2009 10:16 - Canada

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 418

You deserved it 14 068

Verbex tells us more.

Verbex 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:13

************************************************************************************************************** Just to make things a little a more clear since I couldn't in the FML: 1. I am not the 70+ year old man from the other FML, although I did laugh at the idea cause of the coincidence LOL 2. I was not leaning over the fence, the fence was my height. I was merely holding the branch with my hand to the right lighting for the image I wanted. 3. I agree, I could've asked permission, but since I was on the road side of the fence, and this fence was at the back of their house, I didn't feel like walking all the way back around the corner to find this house after hiking. For all I know, they probably weren't there. 4. The funniest thing is, they did ask to see my camera and the images, and then just acted like nothing happened. But they did scare the shit out of me because I had my iPod headphones in and didn't hear them approach me and call me from their vehicle. 5. Lastly, F*CK THE POLICE! No, I'm just kidding :P They had the right I guess, but man was that embarasing. **************************************************************************************************************