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By kids next door - 18/11/2013 10:14 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 293

You deserved it 3 694

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 947

You deserved it 2 826

By Summer_Jane - 03/02/2011 10:40 - United States

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 184

You deserved it 4 514

Summer_Jane tells us more.

Summer_Jane 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:01

Seriously - you guys rock. I laughed waaay too much reading all your comments. And for all you guys who were asking how did I not notice the pee? -- Yeah, I keep asking myself that, too. - It was one of those crazy patterned (ugly) cushioned chairs, so I couldn't tell it was damp. I_did_smell something, but doctors' offices have a lot of smells (as do elderly people...), so I didn't really think about it too much. But yeah...next time I'm assuming the worst.

By troubled - 04/11/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 805

You deserved it 3 764

By AndyAnonymous - 27/04/2012 00:04 - United States

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 825

You deserved it 22 495

Gottem

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 21:07 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 785

You deserved it 6 730

By jamboooy - 18/03/2012 06:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 3 237

jamboooy tells us more.

jamboooy 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:50

My old friends brother.

By davey d - 15/03/2012 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 011

You deserved it 13 273

By adopted - 03/03/2014 15:55 - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 479

You deserved it 8 588

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 14:56 - Netherlands

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 951

You deserved it 1 738

By sakura_girl - 04/11/2011 11:59 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 2 964

sakura_girl tells us more.

sakura_girl 14

Friday 4 November 2011 20:10

Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 22:34 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 290

You deserved it 3 092

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 00:13 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 598

You deserved it 5 930

By DSCC - 28/09/2015 03:07 - United States - Akron

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 508

You deserved it 9 971

DSCC tells us more.

DSCC 19

Monday 28 September 2015 16:15

Op here I happen to take regular showers and I have a boyfriend I've been with for 5 years so just because I may be a crazy cat lady does not mean I am single or smelly have a good day sir :)

By LesbianHonest - 22/04/2013 19:52 - Canada

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 110

You deserved it 6 830

LesbianHonest tells us more.

LesbianHonest 6

Wednesday 24 April 2013 18:16

I'm not, but my girlfriend is. Her silence in bed makes me sad now. :( PS: Yes, this is my FML. I didn't have an account when I posted it, though.

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 564

You deserved it 48 008

By Boneo and Juliet - 16/07/2015 19:22 - United States - Amherst

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 861

You deserved it 5 024

By MisterGasMoney - 13/04/2014 17:08 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 3 881

MisterGasMoney tells us more.

MisterGasMoney 16

Monday 14 April 2014 2:00

My laundry room has been paid for, not by their mom, but by her husband, who I've known since middle school. I guess one of the kids told him about it, and I got a text apologizing and saying he would cover it! Problem Solved!

By Julianapilikusplatosophophes - 11/07/2015 03:49 - Australia - Kew

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 2 887