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strip clubs aren't union. we have a total of 14 employees at this club and the GM would rather fire everyone and hire new people than deal with that. I'm 1 of 3 that have worked here longer than a year.

By suckstobeme - 16/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 151

You deserved it 8 806

By Twinner - 20/10/2009 19:03 - Canada

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 4 698

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 054

You deserved it 3 802

By Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends - 12/01/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 211

You deserved it 3 209

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 063

You deserved it 10 614

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 58 007

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:46 - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 407

You deserved it 2 137

Hey there!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 86 941

The truth

By Theaccident - 22/01/2011 10:03 - Australia

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 068

You deserved it 3 679

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 685

You deserved it 30 715

By cheekychimp23 - 24/07/2013 12:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 180

You deserved it 6 109

cheekychimp23 tells us more.

cheekychimp23 6

Wednesday 24 July 2013 20:07

Just so people know I'm not a terrible dog owner - we have been to the vet numerous times and they told me it happens because her tail was docked too short when she was a puppy! I feed her oil but sadly it does not help. Sigh. Keep squeezing I guess. FML.