Love, Break-ups and Health: Understanding

Understanding

By Chia - 10/05/2013 22:58 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 63 057

vote type 1 3 674

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Insanity

By Leroy - 05/10/2019 02:01 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 20:00

Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML

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STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

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By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

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A huge mess of stuff

By GreatWeek - 30/05/2022 17:01 - United States - Dighton

Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 21:39 - United States - Salinas

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

agreeclassic 67 861

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By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 06:15

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

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Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

agreeclassic 1 359

vote type 1 84

By Forgotten - 11/03/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend has memory issues because of a car accident. She broke up with me because I was acting like if things were more serious that she wanted them to be. She forgot she proposed. FML

agreeclassic 3 273

vote type 1 211

By irresponsible - 14/08/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

agreeclassic 36 043

vote type 1 8 893

SynysterNero 20

Saturday 11 May 2013 5:28

She's a bitch then and you're better off finding someone new.

cman1322 9

Saturday 11 May 2013 5:32

Epilepsy is nothing to joke about and is certainly a mean reason to break up with somebody

Comments

Imthebomb36 2

Monday 13 May 2013 21:18

Hire a hitman

emmyrr 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:50

Bitch she didn't deserve you

Kc1001 14

Wednesday 15 May 2013 6:03

I feel for you man.

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 15 May 2013 11:28

did you tell her that part?

simply_melissa 9

Saturday 18 May 2013 7:41

Well then...

cjwise11 9

Saturday 25 May 2013 19:42

She probably wasn't worth it anyway

pinkphonepinkpho 16

Monday 10 June 2013 6:58

who the **** clicks 'you deserved it'?!

thatpurpleone 12

Saturday 3 August 2013 1:27

Be grateful; that seizure saved you from a monster!

jixiekat 14

Tuesday 27 August 2013 13:40

omg! be glad you got rid of that incodsiderite brat :D

LadySchaefer 8

Wednesday 30 October 2013 19:37

Well sounds like she was a bitch

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Top

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

agreeclassic 10 441

vote type 1 65 984

Today, I invested in some menstrual underwear to save money on sanitary products and for environmental reasons. I got to wear them only once before they were accidentally washed too hot and completely ruined. FML

agreeclassic 289

vote type 1 145

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

agreeclassic 92 865

vote type 1 9 092

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

agreeclassic 50 736

vote type 1 3 318

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

agreeclassic 709

vote type 1 84

Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML

agreeclassic 1 132

vote type 1 225