Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

agreeclassic 52 898

vote type 1 7 987

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By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

agreeclassic 56 955

vote type 1 4 192

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

agreeclassic 9 429

vote type 1 913

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

agreeclassic 920

vote type 1 131

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

agreeclassic 1 124

vote type 1 402

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

agreeclassic 34 851

vote type 1 5 533

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

agreeclassic 272

vote type 1 271

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

agreeclassic 450

vote type 1 118

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

agreeclassic 850

vote type 1 145

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

agreeclassic 653

vote type 1 198

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

agreeclassic 25 285

vote type 1 1 784

rainbowbabe_907 5

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Damn, wish I could do that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

um.....well done?

Comments

caramels55 6

Sunday 9 October 2011 3:54

You gave me a good laugh :) thanks!! But yeah your life sucks!

Allthat09 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:07

Maybe you should stop eating at McDonald's lol

satph 12

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:09

LOL thanks that made my day! fyl

hobojo69 23

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:10

How old are u cuz, my mom can't even do that!

Driveshaft 5

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:12

Perhaps it's time to stop standing in line to eat fatty greasy foods...or at least wait until you have control of your bowels again. YDI

Krystaliph 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:17

I wish I could do that. You, sir, are magical.

PokeSmot 10

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:40

You are my new idol.

Omit 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:52

Did they clap?

happyabby123 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 5:57

Nice

itsonlymeghan 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:58

lolwhat...

hurrican_fml 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 5:19

Epic fail

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

agreeclassic 610

vote type 1 147

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

agreeclassic 2 241

vote type 1 460

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

agreeclassic 59 303

vote type 1 2 779

Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML

agreeclassic 1 664

vote type 1 252

Today, I had my first sexual encounter/kiss. I’m 37, which I know is a strange age for firsts. After blowing him for a bit, he started to f**k me, then went soft. He called it "whisky dick." Then he was on his phone. It took all of 30 minutes, then I was home again. FML

agreeclassic 586

vote type 1 172

Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML

agreeclassic 31 305

vote type 1 6 194