Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very...

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

agreeclassic 34 198

vote type 1 2 868

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By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

agreeclassic 33 579

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By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 181

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By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

agreeclassic 47 102

vote type 1 3 922

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

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By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

agreeclassic 1 583

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By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

agreeclassic 26 593

vote type 1 4 371

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

agreeclassic 52 199

vote type 1 7 699

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

agreeclassic 16 614

vote type 1 8 516

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

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Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 1 481

DFlit1 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:54

Old bitches r still bitches

saIty 17

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:59

It's a miracle she's alive. Some old people cut the cheese so hard they blow up.

Comments

donnie111 12

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:02

Lmao she still gots it

andrew321123 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:06

Ha! This is why I love old people! :')

BighornB 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:08

Don't worry OP, shes old and will be dead soon.

jerico616 14

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:24

I love doing that to people!

manda_rawrz 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:01

damn. old bitches will be old bitches.

ironik970 13

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:09

She needed a scapegoat so she could go change her diaper without suspicion.

sweetazz05 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:23

This was my laugh for the day ;) thanks!

cookiemonsterr91 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:48

What a bitch!

hmmmmmmmmmmmm 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:55

old people r annoying she probly thought it was funny as hell too fyl OP

boatsnhoes9769 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 20:06

Ahhhh....just like elementary school haha

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agreeclassic 32 118

vote type 1 5 766

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