Health: Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket....

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

agreeclassic 26 593

vote type 1 4 371

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By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML

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people_annoy_me 23

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:26

What a bad shituation you're in.

SpartyOnWayne 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:41

Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit

Comments

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:25

Oh no! Hopefully you were able to get changed safely. Best of luck.

tarlax 11

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:27

Changed "safely"? I don't think the shit was in danger of exploding or anything. It's a shart, not a fertilizer bomb.

sturschaedel 27

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:30

20, as a mother, let me tell you: There are not many things more destructive than a diaper blowout. Never underestimate the force of shit.

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 18 July 2015 14:30

20- Sometimes it can go through your pants and stain your clothes. As a special Ed teacher, I've seen it all. And there's nothing worse when you can't do anything about it. Safely was most definitely the correct word.

people_annoy_me 23

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:26

What a bad shituation you're in.

Amama_fml 30

Saturday 18 July 2015 21:35

I think this is the first "shit" pun I've seen that is not down voted. I'm impressed.

MrBlackledge 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 3:27

If only I could thumbs up you more

mds9986 24

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:27

That stinks what a shitty situation.

terspal 14

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:01

What a craptacular pun.

nfedrichy 20

Saturday 18 July 2015 13:19

I thought it was fartastic

MyNameIsLaughter 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 13:22

You guys please stop! We are so much better than this!

Indiantrolledd 16

Saturday 18 July 2015 15:19

Lol **** you all, these puns are great.

ChristianH39 30

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:28

Never trust a fart.

oliv34 11

Wednesday 22 July 2015 7:20

Never waste an erection

sweetbliss3 37

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:30

how horrible. hopefully you got it taken care of quickly.

Koolaidandtacos 21

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:30

Sneaky with a splash of sh*t

mswhatever 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 22:02

You can say shit. This is **** My Life. See shit. We are adults here. We can swear.

hard_candy 25

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:36

amateur. everyone knows you don't force a fart too hard.

SpartyOnWayne 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:41

Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit

CrazedGunner 22

Monday 20 July 2015 0:47

Damn right.

WOTAN1488 24

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:41

Sounds like a...crappy circumstance...

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 18 July 2015 14:59

crapinstance?

MrConcise 34

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:45

The worst is the car ride back if you don't have a change of clothes in the trunk. You're trying to sit in your seat as much as possible without actually touching it, and still trying to push the gas pedal in a half-sitting-half-standing position.

sturschaedel 27

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:20

You seam to have quite a lot of experience in that matter.

MrConcise 34

Saturday 18 July 2015 9:28

Let's just say I'm allergic to eggs and it took a lot of pairs of pants to figure it out. lmao

whitnayfortooh 29

Saturday 18 July 2015 17:15

and what if he didn't even have a car, he took the bus. he had to walk half a mile to the bus stop and wait 30 min for it. and he had to take 3 buses to get there. the horror!