Intimacy: Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

agreeclassic 55 961

vote type 1 4 705

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

agreeclassic 31 322

vote type 1 3 242

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

agreeclassic 37 084

vote type 1 6 569

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

agreeclassic 62 580

vote type 1 4 527

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 066

vote type 1 115

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

agreeclassic 28 202

vote type 1 119 405

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

agreeclassic 1 707

vote type 1 128

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

agreeclassic 89 042

vote type 1 27 185

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

agreeclassic 30 382

vote type 1 2 702

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

agreeclassic 43 186

vote type 1 3 661

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

agreeclassic 49 465

vote type 1 4 153

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

Comments

doglover100 28

Monday 11 November 2013 2:35

I'm a straight girl and there are celebrities if they were gay, I would bang them.

Jackel0228 12

Wednesday 12 March 2014 15:40

Who wouldn't want to?

Ditagein 14

Wednesday 26 November 2014 20:41

i think we'd allllll bang gwen stefani ! she's hawt

buffynovelli 14

Wednesday 18 February 2015 23:30

who the hell wouldn't

Justabastard 10

Tuesday 19 May 2015 13:00

Your mom has really bad taste...

prettygurl89 16

Sunday 31 May 2015 7:35

Agreed

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

agreeclassic 24 854

vote type 1 14 331

Today, when he came back to bed, I asked my flatmate who I've been sleeping since the start of lockdown, whether he had washed his hands after going to pee. He said he barely touched his dick, so he didn't need to. He likes putting his fingers in my mouth when we have sex. FML

agreeclassic 1 686

vote type 1 710

Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 160

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

agreeclassic 801

vote type 1 301

Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML

agreeclassic 1 449

vote type 1 139

Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML

agreeclassic 1 379

vote type 1 117

Similar FMLs

You hypocrite

Thanks mom

TOP COMMENTS

Comments