Intimacy: Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I...

By embarrassed - 18/08/2014 16:39 - United States - Great Neck

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

agreeclassic 52 652

vote type 1 20 522

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

agreeclassic 579

vote type 1 3 578

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

agreeclassic 60 438

vote type 1 3 455

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

agreeclassic 981

vote type 1 158

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

agreeclassic 40 029

vote type 1 8 879

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

agreeclassic 38 318

vote type 1 22 960

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

agreeclassic 34 615

vote type 1 5 621

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

agreeclassic 37 003

vote type 1 5 616

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

agreeclassic 11 266

vote type 1 35 478

Whenever

By InstantHardOn - 08/11/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

agreeclassic 43 580

vote type 1 8 165

By Soundofaboner - 23/04/2013 16:08 - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

agreeclassic 76 452

vote type 1 10 118

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

imlifeless2 25

Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Comments

harley1077 9

Tuesday 19 August 2014 21:35

and the Rockets red glare...

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 19 August 2014 22:21

O, say can you see The boner of OP.

musicmanbilly 8

Wednesday 20 August 2014 8:53

That was wild from start to finish.

annarcheer 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 16:39

you just made my day.

alchemist0 4

Thursday 21 August 2014 0:21

A patriotic boner

Fuzy2K 7

Thursday 21 August 2014 8:18

"Everybody rise for the National Anthem..."

Althaltefolie 13

Thursday 21 August 2014 10:54

Well that's one proud american.

blue5394 3

Thursday 21 August 2014 11:25

ferreal?? that's the song you chose?-.- smh..

jcast0627 9

Thursday 21 August 2014 13:25

You have no idea how hard I am laughing.

Saraishi 25

Thursday 21 August 2014 21:28

Pavlov's dog at it's best.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

agreeclassic 27 001

vote type 1 2 539

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

agreeclassic 29 910

vote type 1 4 691

Today, while working at Starbucks, an elderly woman came up to me asking to turn up the heat. It was at 73. After explaining to her that corporate all the way across the country controls our heat, she's reporting me to corporate and is insisting I should be fired or she won't ever return. FML

agreeclassic 5 314

vote type 1 372

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

agreeclassic 7 112

vote type 1 33 503

Today, we’ve been unable to have sex for months due to my boyfriend’s health issues. I would never EVER cheat on him; however my unconscious mind has other ideas. I’ve dreamt of kinky sex with everyone from the maintenance man to gettin' freaky with detective Stabler. I’m so horny I’m gonna burst. FML

agreeclassic 1 606

vote type 1 298

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

agreeclassic 9 676

vote type 1 64 684