Intimacy: Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused...

By Oops - 26/09/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

agreeclassic 42 972

vote type 1 7 848

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CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 26 September 2011 19:10

Fun Sized: Not so fun for everybody. Warning: Funsized might be too small to handle.

every1luvsboners 11

Monday 26 September 2011 19:10

It was tucked into his shoe. It's an old trick so that it doesn't fall out of his pants leg and drag on the ground.

Comments

xx_alexmagm_xx 12

Saturday 3 January 2015 22:05

No comment

daemonsparta 16

Wednesday 27 May 2015 20:01

either you suck at finding it or your mans a grower

bassfisher100 23

Friday 2 October 2015 19:28

poor guy

CamelPumpkin 7

Saturday 30 April 2016 18:02

Maybe you should get a telescope

emmalou 19

Wednesday 27 July 2022 0:37

His life sucks not urs haha

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Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

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Today, I got a haircut and met up with a friend for lunch. Said friend then burst out laughing, saying my haircut made me look like Professor Snape. FML

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Today, my insanely religious 60-year-old neighbor screamed at me when I left my home to go to work. I was wearing jeans and that’s apparently improper for a female adult. FML

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Today, my in-laws surprised us with an unannounced visit. I was in the middle of my weekly self-care routine, which includes a green face mask, curlers, and a bathrobe. When I opened the door, they looked horrified and my mother-in-law whispered, "Is this a bad time?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Depends, do you believe in aliens?" FML

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vote type 1 115