Love: Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked...

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

agreeclassic 64 709

vote type 1 11 372

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By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

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By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

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By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

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On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

agreeclassic 44 281

vote type 1 17 931

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

agreeclassic 12 930

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By pugs - 29/01/2010 08:43 - France

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

agreeclassic 31 487

vote type 1 4 629

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

agreeclassic 69 717

vote type 1 4 579

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

agreeclassic 31 089

vote type 1 4 025

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

agreeclassic 33 570

vote type 1 4 096

TurboKill1 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 2:01

She's a keeper, haha.

AliSama 17

Tuesday 3 March 2009 2:06

unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.

Comments

okaypineapple 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:26

Whatever. Thats not so bad. Maybe being drunk is what got her interested, but its not what kept her with you.

lollipop217 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:34

haha i've done that :p

imhawaiian 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:47

drunk girls are the best dude

LegendxLm 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:30

It's like right outta a sitcom.

Zuriel45 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:31

Stop asking questions you already know the answer to.

fmlforever2012 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:33

Thats how i get all my girls FML

TheOrpheus 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:34

dude. you gotta' know that shes joking right?

e_n_t_r_e 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:08

story of my life

0___0 9

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:28

lol@virgin4life someone's jealous >_>

DistortedReality 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:33

I lol'd.

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Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

agreeclassic 41 353

vote type 1 12 083

Today, while sleeping as soundly as I could on a plastic mattress, the night shift nurse in the psych ward woke me up in the middle of the night so that I could take my sleeping pill, which was prescribed as "if needed". FML

agreeclassic 3 188

vote type 1 213

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

agreeclassic 35 391

vote type 1 3 598

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

agreeclassic 136

vote type 1 341

Today, my wife made me feel like an asshole for not leaving work to come home because she wasn't feeling good. I'm working at a jobsite 1.5 hours away from home, plus my vehicle wasn't at the jobsite either. FML

agreeclassic 1 416

vote type 1 153

Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML

agreeclassic 1 906

vote type 1 193

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