Health: Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever...

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

agreeclassic 29 214

vote type 1 3 816

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

When you're in a dream…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

agreeclassic 32 033

vote type 1 3 107

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

agreeclassic 29 834

vote type 1 3 872

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

agreeclassic 7 476

vote type 1 816

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

agreeclassic 745

vote type 1 163

The good son

By Busted ears - 28/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML

agreeclassic 335

vote type 1 87

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

agreeclassic 1 821

vote type 1 191

By quietsleeper - 13/10/2009 11:07 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

agreeclassic 37 528

vote type 1 2 977

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

agreeclassic 3 907

vote type 1 509

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

agreeclassic 30 529

vote type 1 2 875

Hush

By dinkley7 - 28/07/2021 18:01

Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML

agreeclassic 824

vote type 1 183

Purpl3_Ninja 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 12:40

At least she cares :D

ChucktheNorris 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 12:38

Well at least you won't die now..

Comments

jonnyroscoe 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 19:47

Go for a sleep test and get a mask everyone happy.

FYLgurl 6

Monday 10 September 2012 1:17

Now thats true love

kathryn14 19

Monday 12 November 2012 7:21

Aww! That's so damn cute.

AnimeBitch 14

Wednesday 3 April 2013 12:36

Awww :)

ItsAshley16 8

Monday 15 April 2013 22:58

Yea at least she cares

doglover100 28

Thursday 5 December 2013 23:13

If you have sleep apnea it is possible.

CoolCookie210 22

Sunday 13 April 2014 0:10

So tell her to stop, genius.

kbnaamany 2

Saturday 16 April 2016 15:46

At least she cares...

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my boyfriend took my car on a 3-day vacation, stranding me in our extremely rural town. I have a box of ziti, a jar of expired pickles, no cable or Netflix, and no water since the well ran dry. Why am I here? "Someone needs to stay with the dog and feed the cows." FML

agreeclassic 2 957

vote type 1 395

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

agreeclassic 24 715

vote type 1 2 882

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

agreeclassic 460

vote type 1 139

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

agreeclassic 24 632

vote type 1 5 772

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

agreeclassic 1 096

vote type 1 121

Today, I hired a graphic artist to design a logo for my shop. I think the guy might be obsessed with sex, since his first design looked like a vagina up a tree, and when I asked him to redo it, the result looked like a pair of boobs. Either he’s in denial or he’s actively mocking me. FML

agreeclassic 429

vote type 1 83