Intimacy: Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha"... - FML

By sluttydancer - 10/06/2009 13:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

agreeclassic 25 266

vote type 1 61 958

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Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

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By danam - 05/07/2011 02:38 - Canada

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By secret dancer - 16/08/2011 16:55 - Sweden

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

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By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

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By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

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Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

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By DusterOverBits - 23/09/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

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By crazygirl10 - 28/05/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

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Fond memory

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

dmmd8686 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:57

Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"

regalarius 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:54

Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"

Comments

bitches_and_hoes 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:13

Misplaced modifier? I think so.

HteaXtrainC 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:17

LOL. You shoulda screamed perv and ran to your friend.

lilpartyguy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:19

you should **** him before he gets killed by his neighbor

gregthestrange 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:20

well, did you satisfy him? ********?

kk3211 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:21

wait..... he was cleaning windows with his boner???

megs8907 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:24

Today, I was washing my kitchen windows and I looked in and saw my daughters friend dancing around the support pole...and I got a boner. FML

slax0r 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:27

Yikes. YDI for doing that in someone else's house but FYL too. awkward.

MelKel 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:28

Meh, it's a compliment.

RuralNinja 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:35

At least you know you're good at it, since it obviously had the desired effect.

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 22:38

Well, if you do a slutty dance and a guy sees it, expect them to have a boner. YDI

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Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

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Today, I’ve been hearing voices for days, strange whispering voices even if I’m alone in a room. Turns out it was my hearing aids picking up random bits of radio. My audiologist was amazed, because my hearing aids shouldn’t have the ability to pick up such signals, like at all. Lucky me. FML

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