Love: Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing...

By oops - 27/03/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

agreeclassic 48 157

vote type 1 7 135

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It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

agreeclassic 42 239

vote type 1 4 116

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

agreeclassic 22 916

vote type 1 4 726

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

agreeclassic 57 535

vote type 1 94 597

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

agreeclassic 17 471

vote type 1 2 740

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

agreeclassic 33 839

vote type 1 4 167

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

agreeclassic 14 522

vote type 1 67 503

It's hot!

By joyf - 08/12/2019 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

agreeclassic 806

vote type 1 2 472

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

agreeclassic 39 379

vote type 1 6 237

By whyme - 13/07/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

agreeclassic 28 678

vote type 1 41 872

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

agreeclassic 1 109

vote type 1 120

Idiotskillme 20

Friday 28 March 2014 10:49

At least he has manners :)

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Friday 28 March 2014 10:49

At least you know that he respects your privacy!

Comments

brightfinal 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 7:01

Aw, he seems like a sweetheart.

597mph 10

Sunday 30 March 2014 8:29

That. Is a proper man.

sledshredder163 14

Sunday 30 March 2014 11:13

At least he's a gentleman.

Wuff 6

Sunday 30 March 2014 14:53

Awww, that's really cute!

RileyKay521 6

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:40

At least you know you have found a gentleman :)

stlstretch2 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 22:26

Awh! What a gentleman. After he came back in, I hope things went well for you all!

MrBowman 12

Sunday 30 March 2014 22:55

He must be Canadian.

mderaita 7

Monday 31 March 2014 0:38

Wait that's literally the cutest thing ever. Can I have him.

soldiat_fml 17

Monday 31 March 2014 5:23

That is adorable.

kyouka 8

Monday 31 March 2014 14:33

How long have you guys been dating???

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Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

agreeclassic 935

vote type 1 286

Today, I discovered via my webcam that my brother believes in teaching babies to self-soothe, which in practice means ignoring my baby until she stops crying, only changing the nappy once in the 7 hours I was at work, and forgetting to feed her at all because he’s too busy watching Netflix. FML

agreeclassic 2 101

vote type 1 322

Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML

agreeclassic 1 783

vote type 1 156

Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

agreeclassic 41 171

vote type 1 3 757

Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied, "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML

agreeclassic 31 096

vote type 1 4 751

Today, I'm working an 8-hour shift on less than 3 hours of sleep. In order to stay awake, I chugged 3 Red Bulls. Now I can't feel my face. FML

agreeclassic 11 861

vote type 1 6 845

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