Intimacy: Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken...

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

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vote type 1 2 438

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By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 07:00

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By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

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By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

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By shadowsorel - 30/08/2012 20:34 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

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By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

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By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

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By IMAWAKE - 17/03/2014 19:07 - United States - Romulus

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

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By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

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Vicariously

By Cate - 05/11/2009 10:25 - Australia

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

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perdix 29

Saturday 7 November 2009 20:16

A good three-way would have helped to smoothen out that week.

wozer 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 22:36

sounds like her roommate had it pretty rough too

Comments

ThunderJizzed 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 0:45

Ok thats hilarious. If that happened to me, I would just join them :P

MadVlrus 1

Wednesday 18 November 2009 14:08

People shouldn't make that much noise whatever the reason. Knock on the door and tell them to be quaiet.

valmont_fml 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 21:55

Kinda reminds me of an ultimatum I gave a friend of mine when he and his girlfriend were living in my house. I told them that if they woke me up, I would bang on the wall between our rooms. Then, if that didn't solve it, I'd go open the door to their room and come in. I never got woken up.

katiewubsmusic 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:45

Walk in with the world biggest *****, and begin inserting it slowly into your mouth, in and out, until they get creeped out. Then have a wild time masturbating, and ****** right in front of them. They'll learn their lesson