Love: Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got...

well if she said she was cheating on him, and just went along with it saying it was a miscarriage or something, then he wouldn't be going through as much of a guilt trip.

somethingawesome 9

Friday 7 August 2009 5:55

Oh that happens all the time. (jk)

shaZamy 0

Monday 10 August 2009 23:54

well, that sucks

ANTONKR 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 2:55

hahaha

CrazyKing 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:38

Lawl.

Man_person 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 2:27

fake

Broeman 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 21:20

Wow, that came out of left field.

Shanty175 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 13:32

lol, what a response.

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Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

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Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

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Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

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Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML

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