Sex, Farts and Intimacy: It's getting hot in here

It's getting hot in here

By cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

agreeclassic 32 212

vote type 1 9 545

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By gassygirlfriend - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

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By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

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By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

agreeclassic 33 206

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

agreeclassic 28 752

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By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

agreeclassic 1 628

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By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

agreeclassic 17 117

vote type 1 41 531

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By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

agreeclassic 27 336

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By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

agreeclassic 48 284

vote type 1 11 630

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

agreeclassic 35 930

vote type 1 4 199

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

Comments

alexwilliamson 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

Yeah, **** your life.

Justforlolz 14

Thursday 15 July 2010 21:15

That wuz pretty dam funny. Lolz and least your warm.

Fmyspam 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 23:18

Or **** your wife.

dylly17 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 4:20

This isn't an FML. Don't take it so seriously :P Your wife was just joking around!

gearsawar2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

first

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 15:02

fail =()

robosonic 2

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:44

WTF is a threadjack anyway?

CrazyDutch 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 7:35

wow... you must be scared for life

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

fireflames113 6

Friday 8 April 2011 5:05

very much so

Jesta05 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:19

YDI for using sucha cheesy line

memcp 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 8:11

Agreed! (;

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:21

I think it's a great line(: very romantic... Until the fart fest..

helloimkellay 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:26

thats disgusting.

ShannyAK 16

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:20

Everyone farts

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:23

Its natural! If my boyfriend did that I'd laugh so hard!

dc120994 11

Saturday 18 April 2015 2:48

that's called true love

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

shoieb9 14

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:37

Was about to say that :D

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:51

warm and smelly.

itouchguy360 3

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:47

So your wife has a sick sense of humor? Not really an fml.

SliceNthrice 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:07

Your fml gave me a boner. That's one H O T wife.

teenager34 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 1:42

lmao

maddieguinn 0

Monday 19 April 2010 0:32

hahhahahahahah wtf

me5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:10

Times are a-changing! 

Skullcrusher 5

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:37

#2 - You wish!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Everything is under control...

agreeclassic 282

vote type 1 99

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

agreeclassic 18 733

vote type 1 33 422

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

agreeclassic 25 424

vote type 1 2 208

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

agreeclassic 12 853

vote type 1 1 177

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

agreeclassic 1 176

vote type 1 93

Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML

agreeclassic 7 730

vote type 1 321

It's getting hot in here

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