Miscellaneous: Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take...

By Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

agreeclassic 54 267

vote type 1 23 289

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By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

agreeclassic 25 205

vote type 1 141 057

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

agreeclassic 43 436

vote type 1 13 440

By doesntkissalot - 28/08/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

agreeclassic 35 343

vote type 1 6 083

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

agreeclassic 23 887

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By Snotmyfault - 11/01/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

agreeclassic 7 574

vote type 1 49 404

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 2 545

vote type 1 321

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

agreeclassic 40 717

vote type 1 4 810

Never again

By Lex - 21/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 450

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

agreeclassic 9 597

vote type 1 66 581

By pathetic - 06/11/2013 13:04 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

agreeclassic 37 006

vote type 1 22 610

Ilovelife07 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:13

Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world

starbucks14 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:06

I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. &hearts;

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Caidoz_fml 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 11:08

At least we know now?

Epiphany1882 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 11:09

That is awesome. Its a pop culture, age-old question - now answered! Im sharing this on facebook. lmfao.

pumpkindoodle 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 21:51

TY for the info. Have always been too lazy to find out myself.

jerzygurl 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:09

mine was 1368 but i was 11

writerajere 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 1:30

Why is this an FML, you've done a great service! The world finally knows!!!

chippah 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:53

i got 416 when i was 14 but i will prob try again while older

LucienCrest 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 4:15

I got 1110 a while ago- made sure i licked ALL the coating off

failwhatwhat 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:17

YES. ive been dying to know. thank you so much !

stunnashades4ev 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:26

NO FML this is a sick accomplishment

FeedtheBrood 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:35

This is the opposite of an FML. Why are you submitting it here?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, an irate woman came into my store, screaming that she wanted a refund for the “defective” juicer we sold her. Apparently we’re all idiots who can’t build thing properly. I work at Best Buy and she was trying to juice bananas, but got mad they kept coming out as goop. FML

agreeclassic 1 434

vote type 1 109

Today, during my run through a nature preserve, I rounded the corner to a pair of legs sticking out on the trail. My first thought was that someone was hurt, but as I got closer I realized it was one guy blowing another on the side of the trail. I had to jump over his legs. FML

agreeclassic 5 718

vote type 1 474

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

agreeclassic 56 208

vote type 1 9 049

Today, I accidentally shared the pictures about my date with my side chick on my main stories instead of my “Close friends” list, where I'd excluded my girlfriend. I realized this when all my stuff was sitting outside our apartment when I got home. FML

agreeclassic 57

vote type 1 2 102

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

agreeclassic 29 655

vote type 1 26 379

Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML

agreeclassic 324

vote type 1 95

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