Work: Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

agreeclassic 33 633

vote type 1 6 757

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Where am I?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

agreeclassic 16 280

vote type 1 5 038

Wise words

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 05:01

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

agreeclassic 958

vote type 1 200

Life's good

By Petergibbons - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

agreeclassic 25 335

vote type 1 2 932

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

agreeclassic 23 533

vote type 1 6 468

Never miss a chance to sit down

By wookieewhosshe - 05/06/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Cowdenbeath

Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 670

vote type 1 146

Money for whining

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 23:59 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML

agreeclassic 761

vote type 1 137

Productivity

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

agreeclassic 47 722

vote type 1 8 911

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

agreeclassic 4 354

vote type 1 456

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

agreeclassic 20 877

vote type 1 11 410

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

agreeclassic 28 822

vote type 1 5 173

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 16 September 2009 10:01

Shitty job, eh?

3rere 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 10:02

your bored and the first thing you do to kill time is take a dump?

Comments

VD007 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 3:17

LOL me do it tooo i ar funi

19fml18 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 5:42

Eat fiber one

WestG2008 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:29

Who doesn't?

nomo_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 2:03

Nothing wrong with getting paid to take a dump!

Pepin_the_Short 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:36

Wes?

purple91 8

Friday 18 September 2009 14:37

You're a sufferer of constipation, are you?

xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:25

Trying to take a dump? See a doctor.

terrahdez 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:51

Dude! I'm in the same boat!

Bilbotitface 2

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:50

thats an awesome job...u get paid to take a shit XD

boomboompow1985 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:05

hahah. I do that tooo. I thought inwas the only one. hahaha.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

agreeclassic 56 498

vote type 1 5 519

Today, after none of my friends who said they'd be at the Jackbox game night I was hosting showed up on the Zoom call, I heard a knock at the door. All of them thought it was in person at my place, which is a mess. FML

agreeclassic 481

vote type 1 889

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

agreeclassic 934

vote type 1 112

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

agreeclassic 1 382

vote type 1 216

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

agreeclassic 12 863

vote type 1 38 335

Today, I'm incredibly depressed because of touch-starvation. I also have haphephobia, the fear of being touched, in addition to crippling social anxiety. Why do I feel as though I was intentionally made to be as utterly miserable as possible? FML

agreeclassic 769

vote type 1 271