Animals: Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog....

By mayhemily - 21/09/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

agreeclassic 22 493

vote type 1 2 978

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By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

agreeclassic 29 009

vote type 1 9 672

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

agreeclassic 26 631

vote type 1 2 851

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

agreeclassic 3 510

vote type 1 316

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

agreeclassic 3 419

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The zoo

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

agreeclassic 54 756

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By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

agreeclassic 40 596

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Canine alarm clock

By ManlyStallion - 20/01/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML

agreeclassic 296

vote type 1 212

Kamikaze

By Hot Dog - 29/12/2022 09:00

Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML

agreeclassic 1 540

vote type 1 245

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

agreeclassic 1 565

vote type 1 220

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

agreeclassic 30 118

vote type 1 4 183

appygirlify 17

Monday 21 September 2015 22:32

hey, atleast your dog has priorities right?

zharks1010 18

Monday 21 September 2015 22:34

Obviously your dog can't understand that

Comments

OrganicSistah 17

Tuesday 22 September 2015 6:10

If you passed out from drinking too much then YDI. Otherwise FYL. Either way, least your dog was there to wake you up though.

BeerOClock 9

Tuesday 22 September 2015 9:16

Passing out and fainting are two different things

fyl7899 12

Tuesday 22 September 2015 11:01

All dogs think about is food.

romegatekeeper 8

Tuesday 22 September 2015 23:40

I feel sorry for the dog !!!! Sounds like its the responsible one

Zaayuro 9

Wednesday 23 September 2015 14:34

well its good your dog was ABLE to wake you up OP

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