Intimacy: Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die... - FML

By nickyy - 29/11/2009 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

agreeclassic 11 488

vote type 1 31 458

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By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

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Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

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Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

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By hitmutefirst - 03/02/2009 10:24 - United States

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By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

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Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

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By losingstreak - 31/01/2009 20:47 - United States

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Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

pizz0wn3d 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:08

L2Alt F4, windows button D, or even Alt Tab. YDI for being computer illiterate

lonewolf2701 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:16

there should be a **** watching class, i declare myself a teacher, rule one: never watch **** parents home :p

Comments

BeautyBaby099 18

Tuesday 24 September 2013 2:44

Ever heard of Esc. Key?

Dlzq 22

Monday 16 June 2014 2:02

Not trying to hate on all the comments 'bout keyboard shortcuts, but if your mouse just died and you hear someone opening the door, then I don't think your first thought is to press ALT + F4..

MissKangaroo 23

Monday 23 June 2014 15:39

It's called an escape button

madskillz952 8

Saturday 19 July 2014 4:49

Ctrl+w

Malachi's life 4

Friday 11 August 2017 23:02

This is the best "you deserved it" I've seen today

J15237 25

Thursday 28 May 2020 17:51

stupid question time. Why are you watching **** with your parents home? Or awake for that matter?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

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vote type 1 5 964

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

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Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

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Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

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Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML

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Today, after going to my friend's house for the first time and seeing how their parents treat them, I realized that I’ve never once experienced parental love in my entire life. FML

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