Health and Poopoo peepee: Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first...

By killme - 29/02/2016 07:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

agreeclassic 12 557

vote type 1 23 600

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By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

agreeclassic 15 396

vote type 1 26 494

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 34 206

vote type 1 8 676

Pissed

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

agreeclassic 42 719

vote type 1 6 583

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 48 903

vote type 1 9 994

By fired - 13/05/2012 06:26 - United States - Portland

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

agreeclassic 9 681

vote type 1 47 034

By Pissed - 20/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Asheville

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

agreeclassic 12 398

vote type 1 2 992

By Aciliveth - 10/06/2010 16:07 - Canada

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

agreeclassic 44 092

vote type 1 4 446

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

agreeclassic 29 382

vote type 1 7 314

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 1 538

vote type 1 926

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

agreeclassic 12 053

vote type 1 2 556

MoidixMois43 21

Monday 29 February 2016 17:44

What the ****

SexyCheeksIzKool 15

Monday 29 February 2016 17:45

"Should I drink my own piss? No, but it's sterile and I like the taste." ~ Dodgeball

Comments

FML_dude_117 8

Saturday 5 March 2016 5:55

oh. my. *******. god. ew ew ew

TheAspieDork 27

Wednesday 9 March 2016 5:18

Let me guess; it was a drug test and you failed

_EnderDoge 22

Friday 17 June 2016 3:40

I mean, everyone's into different things..

lucasjames22 8

Wednesday 5 July 2017 23:19

you are super ****** up. no one out of instinct would drink their pee.

lucasj23 11

Sunday 18 March 2018 2:29

what the **** is wrong with you?

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 7 July 2021 2:18

I have no words.

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Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

agreeclassic 33 382

vote type 1 3 071

Today, I was driving home from an event on the coast. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and before I realised what'd happened, I ended up 20 km out of a town that I don’t even live in. FML

agreeclassic 454

vote type 1 1 426

Today, my father-in law-shared his opinion that autistic kids should be beaten until they act normal. He saw fit to share this while my autistic son was having a meltdown because my father-in-law came to the house without warning, and my son violently hates visitors without prior warning. FML

agreeclassic 2 478

vote type 1 292

Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

agreeclassic 352

vote type 1 143

Today, I was pulled over and given a ticket for a broken tail light. On the way to the mechanic. To get my tail light fixed. FML

agreeclassic 2 323

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Today, my boyfriend’s mom begged me to not leave him before we graduate. After that, I have her blessing. FML

agreeclassic 599

vote type 1 53

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