Miscellaneous: Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails....

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

agreeclassic 8 831

vote type 1 68 961

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

agreeclassic 39 304

vote type 1 20 794

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

agreeclassic 6 435

vote type 1 61 527

By WeldedShut - 03/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

agreeclassic 3 784

vote type 1 8 291

On the runs

By coloneltushfinger - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 1 930

vote type 1 483

Taint

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

agreeclassic 2 043

vote type 1 406

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

agreeclassic 17 033

vote type 1 54 373

By ew - 03/08/2014 18:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

agreeclassic 25 546

vote type 1 50 008

By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

agreeclassic 31 472

vote type 1 8 168

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

agreeclassic 52 633

vote type 1 16 720

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

agreeclassic 31 345

vote type 1 8 370

rayray206 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 7:39

did you do a shitty job on your nails? oh how i love puns

GlamorusKaos 1

Wednesday 4 February 2009 10:55

Lmao .... thats funny as hell

Comments

kat_elizabeth_ 0

Friday 20 July 2012 4:18

Happens allllll the time!!

jonathanargueta 1

Monday 23 July 2012 9:06

Crusty shit

Ricky0710 1

Thursday 3 January 2013 18:13

hahahahahahahaha

ty4nier 16

Thursday 8 August 2013 0:08

dipsh*t

sayyestothedress 24

Sunday 22 June 2014 15:24

Who says OP's a girl?

sayyestothedress 24

Sunday 22 June 2014 15:26

The real question is… is OP a boy or a girl?

annarcheer 19

Monday 25 August 2014 5:26

toe nails girl toe nails

rossea 21

Sunday 4 January 2015 17:28

YDI because everyone knows not to paint their nails before and while going to the toilet

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 31 March 2015 14:09

I don't have any words for this.

bosniangirl27 21

Sunday 17 January 2016 17:59

What kind of nail polish did you use that it took that long to dry?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was driving on the highway and a cop had his radar gun out. The woman in front of me panics and slams her brakes on, causing me to rear end her. The cop cited me for "tailgating" and I have to pay for the damages on both of our cars. FML

agreeclassic 54 195

vote type 1 21 116

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

agreeclassic 31 817

vote type 1 2 121

Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML

agreeclassic 12 160

vote type 1 44 110

Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML

agreeclassic 510

vote type 1 127

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

agreeclassic 59 011

vote type 1 10 558

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

agreeclassic 37 668

vote type 1 7 778

Similar FMLs

On the runs

Taint

Own it

TOP COMMENTS

Comments