Animals: Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming...

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 47 328

vote type 1 15 407

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Harmless, huh?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

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By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

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By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

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By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

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By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

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Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

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By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

agreeclassic 33 639

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Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

agreeclassic 26 310

vote type 1 55 394

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

agreeclassic 2 614

vote type 1 7 755

Speedo Gonzalez

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML

agreeclassic 340

vote type 1 159

yankeesfancg 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

On the first date

kpc2424 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

They say dolphins are the most intelligent mammals...

Comments

olpally 32

Friday 23 August 2013 3:09

Dolphins are that friendly? Lol damn. Did it at least catch you a fish after it raped your mouth? Haha.

wowthatissad 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:13

You French kissed a dolphin. Hahaha I can't even imagine how gross that would be to have a fish gut covered tongue in your mouth

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 23 August 2013 3:15

"Just a little kiss will do....garghggfhgfg."

wowthatissad 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:52

Your bio made me laugh.

mFUNdo21 17

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:53

your pic made the comment 10x funnier

browniey 11

Friday 23 August 2013 3:16

Eww but i guess you could consider dolphin showing her affection for you:/?

vanessa09865 23

Friday 23 August 2013 3:16

A whole new type of experimenting; lady-on-lady dolphin

cuterussian1 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:20

well that was......sensual. even dolphins listen to Katy Perry and heard "i kiss a girl" before you came along :-)

jdogburrier 8

Friday 23 August 2013 3:22

The whale might be part french

Ins0mau 20

Friday 23 August 2013 3:31

SCORE!!

Powerfull_fml 8

Friday 23 August 2013 3:34

I've seen enough animated videos on the internet to know where this is going...

RoboCunnilingus 23

Friday 23 August 2013 3:34

Dolphin rape is a REAL and SERIOUS issue. Just be glad the deviant didn't take it any further.

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