Animals: Nice - FML

Nice

By happypineapple - 17/07/2014 03:31 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

agreeclassic 40 701

vote type 1 19 919

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By parkertownparadise - 16/02/2012 07:43 - United States

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

agreeclassic 25 202

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By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

agreeclassic 1 995

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Little demon

By Hackmanjones - 13/06/2009 14:42 - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

agreeclassic 55 437

vote type 1 4 818

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

agreeclassic 30 917

vote type 1 10 298

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

agreeclassic 41 530

vote type 1 7 990

By australian6196 - 05/02/2014 02:36 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

agreeclassic 49 775

vote type 1 7 483

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

agreeclassic 13 818

vote type 1 38 057

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

agreeclassic 11 555

vote type 1 43 738

By Anonymous - 05/03/2012 16:36 - United Kingdom

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

agreeclassic 23 161

vote type 1 2 607

By sincerely depressed. - 09/08/2012 21:42 - United States - Fremont

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

agreeclassic 7 833

vote type 1 40 532

Next

TOP COMMENTS

ItsAUnicorn 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:30

Tea bag!

RageWolf16 31

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:31

It's okay my dad owns the penis bone of a walrus

Comments

CoolWhip025 8

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:21

She took some balls to the face

xaru 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:34

That's pretty ballsy

buckdharma 37

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:36

It's okay op. Who hasn't had fur on their face before not knowing what type of animal they were?

luckylizardspod 4

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:39

Tea bagged by a Kangaroo! WIN!

pinklala15 3

Thursday 17 July 2014 20:36

It seems like a very furry situation.

Angelkisses130 26

Thursday 17 July 2014 21:37

Well this is certainly a...unique...fml...

empbob 20

Thursday 17 July 2014 22:19

Tea bagged by a kangaroo, that's something to add to a resume...

EmmaLemma121499 2

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:10

I just died

Ki11erC 18

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:15

Rub the pineapple against your face next time, soon see who's happy then.

Chezzlova 5

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:45

Poor Kangaroo.

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Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

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Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

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