Intimacy: DUDE! WTF?

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

agreeclassic 32 276

vote type 1 152 508

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By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

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By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

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By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

agreeclassic 34 188

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By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

agreeclassic 24 096

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By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

agreeclassic 33 364

vote type 1 4 034

By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

agreeclassic 43 163

vote type 1 350 506

Move!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

agreeclassic 9 603

vote type 1 54 295

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

agreeclassic 36 166

vote type 1 9 392

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

agreeclassic 47 180

vote type 1 14 408

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

agreeclassic 14 201

vote type 1 3 564

imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

Comments

othisbeast 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:39

wow ur gay

sahreeg 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:39

yr now allowed to do that ???? O_O NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crabby 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:47

You should only do this when your car is moving, not when it's stopped!

AmericanRedcoat 6

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:58

you could all it stick shift! XD

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:18

Uhh... what?

nat66623 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:56

Eww how gross are you!!!

Bubs_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:03

I've been bored, stuck in traffic. But never that bored! Have some self control!

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:09

Now you need 2 tissues. 1 to clean yourself up and another to wipe away the tears of embarrasment

Huzzy11 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 16:06

use the same tissue!!

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:19

Oh yes!

bongo200 1

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:12

Seriously?...YOu jacked off in the car?.... what the hell is wrong with you?

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:25

Good thing he wasn't stuck in traffic on the bus

rachelforgot2 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:28

ha ya i tried that once gotta be moving and havea blanket covreing your lap! but it may be easier for a girl??

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:21

Nice! Tell us more!

NoKo_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:39

tint ur windows to alteast 20% fool

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Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

agreeclassic 20 748

vote type 1 2 742

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

agreeclassic 65 170

vote type 1 6 368

Today, while I was at work as a receptionist in a hotel in Spain, an entitled woman was pissed because her reservation didn't have breakfast included. I'd offered her three times the option to add it. She declined because she had to pay for it. She was pissed that she had to pay to include the breakfast in her reservation. FML

agreeclassic 750

vote type 1 102

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I actually got? An angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get? A donation. FML

agreeclassic 2 236

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Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

agreeclassic 29 104

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Today, my last 2 ex-girlfriends, who each left me for someone else, are either travelling the world, own multiple online shops, and both are drop dead gorgeous. I have to work a full-time job while my health deteriorates from stress, bills pile up, and having been sexless for two years. FML

agreeclassic 461

vote type 1 209

DUDE! WTF?

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