Kids: Charming dude - FML

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

agreeclassic 25 755

vote type 1 2 501

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Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

agreeclassic 43 918

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

agreeclassic 29 083

vote type 1 6 171

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

agreeclassic 75 996

vote type 1 6 743

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 15:00 - South Africa

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

agreeclassic 39 987

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By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

agreeclassic 39 412

vote type 1 3 382

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

agreeclassic 24 964

vote type 1 1 775

By paging dr. kevorkian - 16/05/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

agreeclassic 56 830

vote type 1 5 918

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

agreeclassic 28 208

vote type 1 16 484

By kimmykins27 - 31/10/2014 12:58 - United States

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

agreeclassic 37 223

vote type 1 3 075

By mandie - 13/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

agreeclassic 28 473

vote type 1 2 543

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TOP COMMENTS

Il_Maestro 6

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:38

Is your wife a Mudblood?

mgkgambino 3

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:36

He got out of the nursing home a little too early?

Comments

notsoanonymous3 20

Sunday 16 November 2014 0:13

Then your grandfather should be shot...

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Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

agreeclassic 54 673

vote type 1 7 423

Today, I had my final piano performance. There is a guy in my class who constantly tells me I suck at piano, so I was looking forward to watching him play badly since he never practices. Instead, he played the most beautiful music that would make Mozart weep. He got a standing ovation. FML

agreeclassic 2 659

vote type 1 753

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

agreeclassic 38 993

vote type 1 3 364

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

agreeclassic 22 727

vote type 1 1 864

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

agreeclassic 1 091

vote type 1 118

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

agreeclassic 37 499

vote type 1 8 516