Intimacy: Bragging

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

agreeclassic 25 752

vote type 1 3 184

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

agreeclassic 2 409

vote type 1 359

By hmacy - 01/10/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

agreeclassic 5 637

vote type 1 548

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 35 007

vote type 1 5 647

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

agreeclassic 27 397

vote type 1 3 466

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

agreeclassic 25 422

vote type 1 3 140

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

agreeclassic 152 014

vote type 1 40 668

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

agreeclassic 39 415

vote type 1 17 930

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

agreeclassic 12 106

vote type 1 2 901

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

agreeclassic 59 419

vote type 1 8 840

Don't care

By grreeatttt - 31/01/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML

agreeclassic 9 385

vote type 1 35 211

cristiannnnnnnnn 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 0:05

he's like tea, hot n steamy done in two minutes

LemonStarship 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:32

He must of been doing the Swedish helicopter for those 2 minutes.

Comments

Occums_Razor 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 16:41

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

crazydudefrom90s 10

Wednesday 23 May 2012 21:51

For some reason I was expecting the FML to end differently. "....wore him out last night. We didn't see each other last night. FML."

Killuhk 8

Friday 25 May 2012 12:23

I was thinking either A) he sent the text to the wrong person. B) he just really sucks. or C) you failed to pick up on his sarcasm lol

smurfer 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 16:42

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

Hollzbananza 15

Wednesday 19 December 2012 13:27

What?

isallwaysme 27

Monday 14 January 2013 13:04

people like you should not comment.

wilber245 16

Saturday 6 December 2014 5:13

wut do u mean we shud not comit - (Sarcasm)

Fmypanda 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 16:42

Ouch! Poor guy.

blakehilli8 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:07

Ketsuhime 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:21

haha this is hilarious.

LemonStarship 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:32

He must of been doing the Swedish helicopter for those 2 minutes.

redshortsx 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 17:51

major sex fail. your a lousy lay. lol

KinqLeo610 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 19:06

super fail XD

junjunbun 28

Sunday 14 February 2016 11:45

It's more the opposite #7. She's such a good lay he's done in 2 min...

Starfire22 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 18:45

hmmm guess that's long for him? Mine doesn't get worn out for awhile... guess he needs to work on his stamina...

omgzdude 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 18:59

that only means you did a good job....

xdyingxwishx 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:51

Wow, I'm sorry for you, he must have like no endurance.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML

agreeclassic 5 205

vote type 1 706

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

agreeclassic 19 066

vote type 1 3 430

Today, while looking for some self care, my cousin and I found a recipe for homemade face masks. We were vulnerable enough to try it and ended up with bright red faces instead. FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 323

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

agreeclassic 40 432

vote type 1 5 846

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

agreeclassic 25 235

vote type 1 2 758

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

agreeclassic 41 162

vote type 1 4 471