Nearly FML

By Sad_Writer - 05/03/2018 19:59

Today, I tripped over my laptop's power cord, sending it crashing to the floor, breaking my USB clean in two. The novel I have been working on for the past three years is on that drive and the only computer repair center near me is closed due to a massive power failure. FML

agreeclassic 91

vote type 1 24

By Aaron97 - 05/03/2018 13:10

Today, I'm going to Mankato to work for 5 days. Lo and behold, I didn't realize I forgot my wallet until halfway there. Now I don't have any money for food and can't turn around. FML

agreeclassic 71

vote type 1 23

By Anonymous - 04/03/2018 20:11 - United States - Maricopa

Today, my mom threw out my NES Classic that was racking up thousands on eBay because she thought it was "an old gadget I didn't need anymore." FML

agreeclassic 142

vote type 1 8

By Anonymous - 05/03/2018 02:30

Today, I was taking the train and I stepped in something sticky. At first I thought I stepped in some spilt soda or gum or something, but upon further inspection, I realized that it was someone’s semen. FML

agreeclassic 108

vote type 1 11

By Anonymous - 04/03/2018 20:16

Today, I tried to get out of the friend zone with my best friend. Looks like I succeeded. Just lost a friend of 7 years. FML

agreeclassic 93

vote type 1 57

By NoFriends - 04/03/2018 18:35

Today, my mom narrated a strange dream she had. In her dream a bunch of boys and girls came to call me to hang out at the mall. She thought this was the weirdest part of the dream because I had no friends. FML

agreeclassic 93

vote type 1 6

By Globe - 04/03/2018 06:06

Today, my parents said the moon was fake, and then discussed flat earth theory. FML

agreeclassic 143

vote type 1 4

By Bitter - 03/03/2018 16:06 - United States - New York

Today, I told my wife that if she's a stay-at-home mom, then I shouldn't be watching the kids for 90 hours a week. She still doesn't see what the problem is. FML

agreeclassic 124

vote type 1 28

By SSS - 03/03/2018 20:09 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my mother told me she had set up website filters on our wifi to stop my dad watching porn. FML

agreeclassic 93

vote type 1 8

By anon - 03/03/2018 18:33

Today, I asked my siblings to join me for my birthday. My sister said she was booked all weekend for her friend's wedding. She must have forgotten she and her friend are in my social media and they were definitely not together. FML

agreeclassic 99

vote type 1 6

By Anonymous - 03/03/2018 08:07

Today, my boyfriend’s ex decided to try out for the softball team in which I have been captain and MVP for, now she’s trying out for a pitcher, which is my position. FML

agreeclassic 103

vote type 1 10

By Anonymous - 02/03/2018 21:40

Today, while wiping my ass my hand slipped through the paper. While frantically trying to clean my hand, I slapped my balls against the toilet hard enough that I puked. FML

agreeclassic 117

vote type 1 50

By eeeeeeeee - 02/03/2018 18:21 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to shower before a much needed night out after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, the shower head flew off and bruised my arm. Thanks to the weather they won’t be able to fix it until Monday. FML

agreeclassic 101

vote type 1 5

By "bengii007" - 02/03/2018 00:24 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I made a reservation at a nice restaurant for me and my lover and I was on my way to surprise her and I walked into her house just to find her bumping tacos with her best friend. FML

agreeclassic 122

vote type 1 11

By Wounded - 02/03/2018 00:52

Today, I got kicked by one of my horses, 3 months after the other one kicked me and put me on crutches. That time, I'd have been fine if I had let go of her. This time, I'd have been fine if I'd have kept hold. FML

agreeclassic 97

vote type 1 14

By Mimi - 01/03/2018 23:10

Today, I found out I did an entire essay incorrectly. I have two hours to redo it with proper citations or lose 20% of my grade. I’m an exchange student and this is my first assignment. FML

agreeclassic 103

vote type 1 10

By Gaston's Biggest Fan - 01/03/2018 21:02

Today, as my niece watches Beauty and the Beast, I decided to sing along to one of its songs. When I reached: "And now that I'm grown I eat 5 dozen eggs...", she cuts in singing in tune: "and I'm all fat and have hypertension". She's 7. FML

agreeclassic 90

vote type 1 12

By DisgruntledEmployee - 01/03/2018 20:58

Today, at my job at a local spa, I was once again berated by a spoiled asshole for having no available appointments until May. As an underpaid receptionist, I have no control over this. I wish I only had fake problems like they do. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 3

By Poopybutt - 01/03/2018 14:40 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found it that the person my husband cheated on me with was actually his sister’s friend. She was at our baby shower, I served her food. FML

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 7

By Eeyup! That's my girl! - 01/03/2018 14:20 - United States - New York

Today, I was on the subway. Some random idiot started whining about "the system", targeted me as an outlet, which I ignored. After shoving, smites and bombarded with nonsense, my godchild who was with me, pulled my gun from my back pocket, pointed at him and screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". She's 8. FML

agreeclassic 104

vote type 1 74

By weird teacher teacher - 01/03/2018 09:33 - United States - Bronx

Today, I walked in on my teacher watching porn. I told the principle, but she did nothing about it and said he can watch whatever he wants. FML

agreeclassic 97

vote type 1 25

By Robbie Sutherland - 01/03/2018 13:26

Today, I took a 4 hour plane ride in Australia, where they don't check your passport because you need it to buy your ticket. I just happened to not realize I left it in my hotel back up north until after I got to my new hotel. FML

agreeclassic 62

vote type 1 22

By larbabi - 01/03/2018 02:23

Today, I was babysitting a 7-year-old girl and trying to get her to go to sleep. I was singing her a lullaby and when I thought she was finally asleep, I snuck out of the room only to have her turn and tell me, "you sing like a squirrel!" . FML

agreeclassic 80

vote type 1 11

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 02:14

Today, my best friend started dating my ex-boyfriend who I’m still madly in love with. The worst part is that she knows this and he looks 10x happier with her than he ever was in our 2 years of dating. FML

agreeclassic 107

vote type 1 16

By Liz - 01/03/2018 00:15

Today, my roommate, who knows I have anxiety issues about the stove being on, left the stove burning when she went to work. For 4 hours. By the time I woke up, the whole place smelled like gas and her 2 idiot cats were playing way too close. Her response? "It's not like I did it on purpose." FML

agreeclassic 91

vote type 1 10

By Anonymous - 28/02/2018 15:50 - United States

Today, after being broken up for 2 weeks, my boyfriend of over 2 years finally called me. I thought it was to tell me he missed me & that he’s sorry about the situation. Nope, he called to tell me he found the one, has a date with her tomorrow & that he plans on proposing to her soon. FML.

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 13

By "xXRaidenXx" - 28/02/2018 13:10 - United States - Ponca City

Today, I noticed some really pretty girls walking down the street, and I wanted to impress them by doing a 360 on my bike. Everything went as planned, and when I landed the trick, I turned my head to look at the girls, while my head was turned. I smacked into a pole causing me to hit my face. FML

agreeclassic 33

vote type 1 118

By Anonymous - 28/02/2018 18:37

Today, my boss called and demanded to know where I was. I had sent her a quick text last night about my medical emergency. Apparently that's "not her problem!" and I'm being written up. I just got out of the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 108

vote type 1 5

By Anonymous - 28/02/2018 15:00

Today, after 3 years unemployed, my husband had a job interview. I got home at about 6 to find him in his interview suit, playing games on his laptop. I asked him how it went. His reply: "Oh shit!" He got distracted by World of Warcraft for 5 hours and forgot to go. FML

agreeclassic 5 823

vote type 1 862

By Squeak - 28/02/2018 03:38

Today, after having stubbed my toe participating in Chinese New Year activities at school, I found out that my toe is not just a bit bruised, but fractured. Tomorrow, I leave for a week long vacation, which will involve lots of walking. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 8

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I gave my best speech at a work function, only to have the entire team ask, “What was the point of that?” Now, I’m questioning all my life choices. FML

agreeclassic 341

vote type 1 141

Today, a day before my birthday, I'm submitting my unplanned resignation after receiving an applicant's phone call inquiring about my position. Because yep, there was already an ad for an opening in my position. FML

agreeclassic 5 965

vote type 1 483

Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML

agreeclassic 23 214

vote type 1 4 289

Today, my lesbian best friend told me she might be bi and wanted to try sex with a guy she trusts, AKA me. She eventually convinced me, but after we'd had 'weird best friend sex' she decided she’s a lesbian after all, and I “took advantage of her temporary confusion,” so we’re not friends anymore. WTF? FML

agreeclassic 959

vote type 1 148

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

agreeclassic 29 673

vote type 1 11 087

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

agreeclassic 30 849

vote type 1 9 737