tgodluke

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About Tgodluke

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Profile completed

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What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The list of badges to find

Tgodluke's favorite FMLs

By MakeMeASandwich - 10/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with, "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 371

You deserved it 8 962

By NewTenant - 20/06/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 217

You deserved it 40 025

Shy girl

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 849

You deserved it 8 530

Backfired

By gir - 14/07/2011 19:35 - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 630

You deserved it 97 588

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 388

You deserved it 16 812

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 29 420

By insomnia - 22/12/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 251

You deserved it 69 105

Got talent?

By sorrygrandma - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 4 287

Get a look at this

By Buttscratcher - 03/03/2012 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 932

You deserved it 31 899

By c*nt - 13/04/2012 23:14 - Canada - London

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 218

You deserved it 47 290

What? WHAT?

By Anonymous - 02/05/2012 22:41 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had a chest X-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 136

You deserved it 2 478

By ...... - 16/05/2012 22:29 - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 495

You deserved it 32 250

By me - 19/05/2012 02:41 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 163

You deserved it 5 557

By hoaloha - 30/07/2012 04:40 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 241

You deserved it 24 950

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 144

You deserved it 32 091

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 23:31 - United States - Annandale

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 658

You deserved it 17 818

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 09/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 999

You deserved it 7 385

By Anonymous - 15/02/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 670

You deserved it 9 222

I didn't see you there

By SolaceInRage - 20/03/2013 23:53 - United States - Wilmette

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 26 962