Advising

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About Advising

my names jenn

Advising - Followers

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See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

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Advising's favorite FMLs

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 544

You deserved it 2 192

By mommylife - 15/04/2015 04:17 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 3 972

By jenpearl - 20/06/2015 01:06 - Australia

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 9 230

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 359

You deserved it 41 669

By very analytical - 26/06/2015 19:56 - United States - Ashland

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 300

You deserved it 8 612

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 20:08 - United States - Clarksville

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 367

You deserved it 3 011

By Nope - 26/06/2015 21:46 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 424

You deserved it 1 805

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 06:15 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 888

You deserved it 2 312

By anonynous - 27/06/2015 15:01 - United States - Charlotte

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 739

You deserved it 3 649

By stillhungry - 27/06/2015 18:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 565

You deserved it 3 995

By Deaf - 02/07/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 433

You deserved it 1 852

By Bart - 03/07/2015 04:32 - France - Lille

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 03:41 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 194

You deserved it 6 543

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 4 968

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 598

You deserved it 3 117

By notacreep - 06/07/2015 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 590

You deserved it 8 277

By makeover-needed - 06/07/2015 21:32 - United States

Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 1 883

By sydmarie98 - 06/07/2015 22:51 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 2 037

Malding

By Anonymous - 07/07/2015 02:21 - United States

Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 341

You deserved it 2 458

By SiaJoy - 07/07/2015 06:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 157

You deserved it 1 810

SiaJoy tells us more.

SiaJoy 19

Thursday 9 July 2015 4:27

OP here, I love all of the comments you have written :D I didn't think this would get published. But to answer some questions the puke did get all over my shirt, the man apologized to me before stumbling out of the store, and my boss let me leave early. I did not have to clean anything but myself. Maintenance took care of it and they shut down the register for a while to take of it. Thanks for the comments guys :D any questions feel free to message me.