rackmill

Hiii... My bathroom is insanely tiny. Think airplane bathroom small; I can lean over from the toilet to reach the sink/trash can, so...I was leaning over from the toilet. Fail, I know. Lesson learned. Also, my door doesn't completely shut so he can pry it open. Ehh, or he cries and well...I feel bad. I've given up on keeping him out. : On a lighter note, it doesn't hurt anymore. Also, he's cute enough that I forgive him. :)

Okay, just made my profile. One of you asked what my degree will be in. Right now I'm working on a B.S. in Animal Science and will be trying to get my DVM after that. Also, my brother is a male model and has done a lot of work, but tried college for 1 year. All of you who think this is fake, it WAS exaggerated but what he truthfully said was insinuating that my brother is successful and I am a waste of air until I get my degree. My dad isn't an asshole, but my brother does seem to be his golden child. Honestly, I am not bothered by the comment my dad made, I just found it to be funny when he said it. It is true that male models and Chippendales dancers can make a TON of money, but my brother is not at that level exactly. He is doing a stage production of Chippendales (www.herecometheboys.com). I'm very proud of him, and as for the ladies wanting his number, I'm sorry, he's married. Thanks for the remorse, the empathy, and the doubt. This site is fun, right?!

Original poster here. Just wanted to clear up a few things: I'm really not upset about it. It kind of got to me when it happened but I got over it pretty quickly. The only thing that upset me was the fact that I told him that if he wasn't interested, I'd still like to be friends and he completely disregarded that. Ultimately, I just wanted to make my first FML, lol. #17, #18 - He had already seen two of my pictures, but a 3rd one was slightly more revealing, and that was what did me in! #13 - Ouch! That must have been AWKWARD to say the least. :/ #12 and #15 - I don't mind if you think that way. It's a free country, we're entitled to our opinions, after all. But you know what they say... usually the loudest homophobes are closet cases themselves! ;)

OP here I'll clear a few things. First off, no I'm not that dude who got a comment from his girl's grandfather. Although that would be great, it's not me. Second...as for our inability to do it...well I didn't have a clear view. and I couldn't get a good grip on the ball because I fingerbanged her prior, so my hand was...well you get it her hands were lubed up, so same problem. I couldn't see them well enough to unhook them, and she couldn't do a damn thing with them either. It took about 5 minutes before we decided to call anyone. My brother and dad weren't in the house, and obviously if I called a friend, my mom would have to show them in I got the tongue ring for my 18th birthday (2 weeks ago), so obviously moving out isn't going to be an instant thing. Oh and my mom's a nurse, so she just looked at us both staring at her awkwardly, laughed, and undid it. We haven't spoke about it since. Honestly, I think it's pretty funny. What's really funny is those of you idiots who don't understand the exhilaration of a piercing.

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML 1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake. 2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out. 3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys. FML

Clear some things up. I had been working there for 4 1/2 years. Everyone at the store eats on the job and I was the only one to get fired. Never had any disiplinary problems before. The Store owners 14 year old son saw me eat the burger while working and told his dad who in turn told the DM. My regular manager didnt even know about it and was as blindsided as me. I offered to pay for the burger even double or triple for it but my DM could not see it any other way and canned my ass. O well. FML

As the OP, a few extra points: I'm female, he was about a foot taller than me, I'd come home from an 8 hour shift, and I called the cops once I'd moved down the street to a safe distance. If there had been people around, I'd have stood up to him, but I didn't want to add mugging to an already shitty day. But, at #29, I'll totally try that next time!

he said it would be awkward if we went out cause hes a freshman and im a junior. and it wasnt spontaneous. i told him i was bored and he told me to go ********** and i told him im sick of masturbating and he was like what? how is taht even possible? and i was like well ive been doing it for half a decade. it gets old. i need a boyfriend.

(This is my FML, made an account after the submission...) plethora, orchids run about $20-30 and the cat had eaten ALL of it. Not just the flowers...stem too. So I don't think it's going to grow back. Orchids are delicate. :)

Hi everyone, person who wrote the FML here. There seems to be some sort of confusion going on around here, I didn't laugh because my stepmother said that my grandmother was in a better place, It was just the wrong thing to burst out laughing to...not that the funeral helped at all. And thanks to those who made nice comments and stupid ones. It made my day a little bit better 8D

haha, well i was annoyed at first, but he is one of my best mates. And i couldn't say that i had never done something really stupid why'll drunk....not as bad as what he did but still bad =P. We talked about it the next day and at the time he thought it was a good idea to turn of the fridge, but once sober he relised like poster #10 did, that frozen puke would have been easier to clean =P. I'm currently eating most of my meals at his place until he can A) get rid of the smell and disinfect the whole thing. Or B) buy me a new fridge. How would you guys have gone about it?

Hey guys OP here. Well I love my grandma but she always decides to come in during the early hours of the morning. She's always been like this. This one time when I was younger she took me on a wild hunt for her boyfriend. We pulled up outside an old motel and there he was. In a car. With a Hooker. My grandma jumped out the car and took off. She pulled them both out the car and started beating him. Have you ever seen a Hooker take off so fast in heels?!