Where'd you go?
By omgjessp - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
By omgjessp - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
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By burnedboy - 18/01/2010 19:39 - United States
By mcdman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
The rest of the story: I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor. I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out. The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up). We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore. It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.