By thanks, Nemo. - 11/07/2013 23:13 - United States - Hayward
EllaJSwiftie
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About Ellajswiftie
Oh, and I love Taylor Swift. :D
And... please stop using FML as a dating site, I'm single and I love it
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Ellajswiftie's favorite FMLs
By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 16:02 - Canada - Mississauga
By Kat_Styles - 19/07/2013 08:51 - United States - Dearborn
Kat_Styles tells us more.
By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 15:45 - United States - Newark
By gavinbanks - 21/07/2013 22:55 - United States - Medford
gavinbanks tells us more.
Hey everyone! Op here, thought I'd clear some things up. I had my phone on me but it was dead that night. I actually saw the girl again last night at another party, I told her the story and she have me her number again! Everything worked out for the best I guess, Thanks for the funny comments everyone!!!
By mishyb - 28/07/2013 04:28 - United States - Englewood
By ktiskool - 01/08/2013 04:03 - United States - Imperial
By YayItsYasmine - 14/08/2013 16:48 - Austria - Trebesing
YayItsYasmine tells us more.
Hey! I got another lemon in a box today, with the same note. But this time, the "Date me" was in caps and there was drawn a smiley on the lemon. I'm kinda getting creeped out, and i still haven't figured out who made it.
Betrayal
By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara
By bluerhhajfk - 19/08/2013 23:29 - United States - Providence
bluerhhajfk tells us more.
Apparently his friend gave him some to try. He's only 14 so I don't think he knew any better. He told me he was experimenting, and I think that's an okay thing to do so long as he learned his lesson. He is just a young stupid teenager. Moral of the story: Don't do drugs, kids. Or you'll burn your penises.
Flattery?
By theuglyone - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Port Perry
By Poly24 - 27/08/2013 10:32 - France - La Courneuve
Caught in 4K
By happyturtle - 01/09/2013 09:57 - Croatia
Fact check
By Jasmine_smilee - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Canby
By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 05:42 - United States - Calera
Unreasonable
By Crazy Crazy Crazy - 13/09/2013 00:01 - Canada - Burlington
Pleased to meet you
By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 19:53 - Romania - Bucharest
By kelbel89 - 01/10/2013 21:46 - United States - Mesquite
kelbel89 tells us more.
Hey guys. This is the full scoop. My father is about 5'9'' and my boyfriend is 6'4''. My dad was going to intimidate him in anyway he could. He started the night off by answering the door and telling my BF that I was out on my real date for the night. Obviously, my dad has a very dry sense of humor. I don't think he was actually going to send what he collected to a lab, but he didn't crack a smile the whole time it was going on. I tried to stop him, multiple times, at which point my dad said that my boyfriend was lucky he couldn't find any latex gloves that day because it meant he was going to have to skip the prostate exam. My mother was there and thought it was hilarious. My boyfriend is wonderful and rolled with the punches. He took it very well and we are still together. :) Many of you asked if my dad works in law enforcement. Nope, he's just a Texan (which I feel I should point out my boyfriend is not). My father is incredibly proud of himself, I think even more so now that so many of the comments were in his favor. I was, and still am, absolutely mortified.
Bad boy
By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester
Cackle
By easily amused - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States
Hey, OP here. So as a quick update, there are several things I want to add. 1. My dentist was 65, very healthy, and his passing was very unfortunate. But now he's with his wife, who passed away from breast cancer about three years ago. 2. It says 'Employee' at the top because my mother was one of his dental hygienists, and I had worked for him as a secretary for a few months before he died. 3. The dental hygienists in the office obviously started CPR right away. They even shocked him twice, but he wasn't responding to anything. Paramedics took him away in an ambulance, but nothing they did was successful. It's quite ironic because my dentist always used to joke that he required his hygienists to have lots of CPR training, etc, because he was the one who was going to need it. We always thought he was kidding, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened. 4. For those of you saying 'she deserved it' or 'why didn't she start CPR,' or 'her breath killed him lol,' understand a few things. One, I don't see how I deserved it, but that's your opinion. Two, I'm 19, I don't know how to perform CPR, and within a minute, there were three certified, trained, professionals tending to him. Three, even if it was possible to kill someone with your breath, my mom is a dental hygienist. My teeth are quite nice, if I do say so myself. Thanks for all your nice messages, and I hope you never have to experience something as terrible as I did.