MissyPants

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Missypants's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

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Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find

Missypants's favorite FMLs

By Sara - 04/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 608

You deserved it 9 086

By NoPainNoGain - 05/06/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 122

By OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 049

You deserved it 3 009

Bad boy

By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 88 515

By navyma - 17/09/2009 05:10 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 792

You deserved it 4 309

By Thepunchline - 11/08/2010 09:19 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 264

You deserved it 4 244

By dadisgoatboy - 11/06/2011 06:37 - Switzerland

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 980

You deserved it 3 490

Spooky season

By soccerbuddyz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. Now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 928

You deserved it 3 809

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 754

You deserved it 4 804

By MLGreco - 14/10/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 508

You deserved it 5 786

By yamsterr - 12/03/2012 16:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 956

You deserved it 6 698

OK Tyler Durden

By Anonymous - 13/06/2012 20:38 - Netherlands

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 918

You deserved it 2 558

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 520

You deserved it 30 157

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 383

You deserved it 4 855

By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 067

You deserved it 66 975

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Monday 10 December 2012 21:51

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

By EpicJman2828 - 27/06/2013 04:27 - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 160

You deserved it 5 145

EpicJman2828 tells us more.

EpicJman2828 11

Friday 28 June 2013 0:33

OP here. Im so shocked I got posted. Just like to say my cousin was gone when it exploded and I was stung about 9 times. Overall it was very exciting being able to go outside and know something wanted your freaking soul. Those suckers will Hunt you down and rape your body with their asses

By maxhhh - 16/11/2013 06:19 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 837

You deserved it 45 811

maxhhh tells us more.

maxhhh 18

Sunday 17 November 2013 0:58

OP here, just a bit of background to the story: I've had a sore throat for a few days, and I'm actually in the market for a recliner so I thought, "I'm not gonna let a sore throat hold me back from getting out!" As I was sitting down and feeling the chairs, I felt an overwhelming dizziness and nausea, and before I knew it, I puked all over myself and the seat of the recliner. Turns out I have a stomach bug now. FML x2... I am getting it cleaned though, so it should be good as new! I enjoyed the comments; Thanks a lot guys!!! :)

By Purplexus - 02/01/2014 14:13 - Turkey - Ankara

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 370

You deserved it 5 385

Purplexus tells us more.

Purplexus 14

Thursday 2 January 2014 19:01

Yes, this was my FML. Yeah, my dad is an awesome professor. Does anyone have any questions haha