By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh
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By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh
By annoyed - 22/01/2015 20:23 - United States - Berkeley
By Ineedlotsofwater - 23/01/2015 16:41 - United States - Seattle
By nosexforthee - 23/01/2015 19:25 - United States - Katy
By WalkTheOtherWay - 01/02/2015 02:29 - Canada - Toronto
By lucas90 - 04/02/2015 21:42 - Sweden - Stockholm
By SDCore - 12/02/2015 00:40 - United States - Glenview
By Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - 14/02/2015 09:46 - United States - Sparks
By annie_xox - 20/02/2015 14:39 - United Kingdom - Neath
Hi, OP here! Believe me now, I gave him the dirtiest look and ended things there and then. He can have his "gorgeous" ex if he wants her so badly, just don't come crawling back to me, you dick!
By anonymous - 20/02/2015 23:49 - United States - Paragould
By Anonymous - 22/02/2015 20:41 - United States
By Sheldon76 - 24/02/2015 19:43
Well once she felt the resistance she stopped and deflated it fully. But unfortunately it had traveled some down the urethra before she realized. So I had to wait while she grabbed another syringe unfortunately.
By confused - 27/02/2015 03:07 - United States - Milwaukee
By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville
By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 18:11 - United States - Portland
By mszoe - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 03:22 - United States - Naples
By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon
By CrazyInLove - 10/03/2015 06:02 - United States - Castle Rock
By manderpander21 - 17/03/2015 00:56 - United States - Bronx
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)