Falzou

0
Followed

0
Followers

9
Badges

9
Comments

4313
Visits

251
Favorites

Camp Hill,Pa, United States of fuck You
36 years-old
Wednesday 08 August 1990
Single

About Falzou

I Filled this out to get a medal of Commandation

Falzou - Followers

Falzou - Followed

Falzou's page visits

Hugged!

Falzou's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Falzou's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 527

You deserved it 3 852

By SlapAndTickle - 11/10/2013 03:04 - United States

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 5 162

OK, thanks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire PowerPoint based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 799

You deserved it 4 301

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 430

You deserved it 3 546

By overly nationalistic redneck - 19/10/2013 19:37 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 356

You deserved it 5 328

By nofriends - 19/10/2013 21:57 - United States

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 298

You deserved it 5 298

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 21:39 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 701

You deserved it 3 795

By Jane M - 25/10/2013 23:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 3 757

By thank god you'll only live once - 08/11/2013 20:12 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 168

You deserved it 3 780

By Darkheaven - 17/11/2008 11:27 - France

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 508

You deserved it 9 499

FIRE!

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 704

You deserved it 3 937

By Ulysse - 01/01/2009 19:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 249

You deserved it 37 565

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 843

You deserved it 4 965

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 475

You deserved it 8 908

By Whothrewhim - 22/02/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 906

You deserved it 10 915

Whothrewhim tells us more.

Whothrewhim 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 7:12

Damn, You guys are harsh. I am 20 so not technically old enough to drink, I am from the North, Asshole, and it was a legitimate accident, not involving power tools, or due to the alcohol, it just simply was not a smart decision to drink. Also, I was home from college. ******* A.

Breaking news

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 508

You deserved it 57 958

History

By catfish - 23/02/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those '70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 380

You deserved it 52 191

Huge fan of his work

By laf@me - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 565

You deserved it 4 431

By Kasizzle - 26/02/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 161

You deserved it 42 124

Kasizzle tells us more.

Kasizzle 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:20

Well I dont think she will be coming back in, honestly the biggest pants I have ever seen. I am 6 foot and I could pretty much stand in the waist line of the pants. and we had to charge her 5 dollars more. Needless to say the presser was PISSED. I could not say "one item" because the dry cleaners I work at does not charge the same price for every item ( Like a lot do). I did give her a discount though because I felt so bad.

By uthinkucandraw - 27/02/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 732

You deserved it 7 389