By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 04:05 - United States - Springfield
sfss99
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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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I agree, my mouse works.
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Sfss99's favorite FMLs
By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian
By not funny but :( - 28/03/2013 16:24 - United States - Wooster
By Anonymous - 20/05/2013 20:36 - United States
By Kn0wledge123 - 26/06/2013 05:27 - United States - Miami
Kn0wledge123 tells us more.
Gamergate 1.0
By Lucie - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn
By Sophies - 26/12/2013 00:45 - United Kingdom - Bristol
By -_-" - 11/01/2014 23:13 - United States - Vestal
By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow
By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta
By ZombiexIce - 10/02/2014 03:22 - United States - San Francisco
ZombiexIce tells us more.
Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler. As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit. We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday. My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :) We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom with my pants around my knees. Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!
By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France
Score!
By OverIt - 25/02/2014 22:24 - United States - Winchester
By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States
Don't listen to Cosmo
By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo
By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States
By kendrox - 02/05/2014 07:11 - United States - Auburn
kendrox tells us more.
Oh wow I didn't think this would make it on there! Hello everyone, I am the original poster of this FML! No, I did not call the police. In other, more serious situations, I have. I did not say once that he was a danger to me, there was no need for him to get in trouble for this! It just made my night a lot harder! I left him be for a couple hours and when it came time for me to set up breakfast, I knocked on the bathroom door and gave him some coffee. He thanked me the next night. He seemed to be a very sweet man, just very very inebriated...
By mousiepie - 02/05/2014 09:36 - United States - San Francisco
mousiepie tells us more.
well, it was a contracting job. I've had weak wrists all my life but I normally just wear wrist braces and I do just fine. I hadn't wanted to say anything but also having still been new, I figured the bulk of the pain was from the repetitive motions from a 12 hour shift and that once I had been there a while, most of the pain would disappear. When my coworkers noticed the pain from my hands not working properly they suggested the nurse and I asked if she can provide a wrist wrap. They then said I needed to talk to my supervisor before the nurse and being a medical facility, they stated that they can't say they care about saving lives and the safety of the employees if they allow me to get hurt. They then directed me to my contracting supervisor who stated they will find a clerical type job for me. I just felt lame for the fact that for once I was told I couldn't perform a job because I might injure myself. :/ I appreciate the support and kindness though. Thank you.
By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom
By wtf - 03/05/2014 16:50 - Germany - Ramstein
OP here. Yeah I did dodge a bullet. ******* moron, that one. I spoke to her the next day and it turns out that she only knew Haiti from the what she saw on CNN. I told her that's ******* stupid and there is no "certain" way to look like an ethnicity. She kept trying to find rationalizations like maybe I was mixed with French or something. Nope. I'm full on darkie. What makes this worse is that she's African American and lives in South Florida. So there's no way she hasn't interacted with Haitians before. I always hear from fellow Haitians that they get this a lot, but its the first time it actually happened to me. For the people asking, my mothers cousin passed in the earthquake and my dads family lost their home. My godsister also passed away. It was not an easy time at all. I'm not sure how the conversation came about with me & her but needless to say, there won't be a second date.