sfss99

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'Muricuh
27 years-old
Sunday 18 April 1999
Single

About Sfss99

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The list of badges to find

Sfss99's favorite FMLs

Now casting

By WhyAppleWhy - 01/09/2012 23:14 - United States - Sarasota

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 589

You deserved it 52 941

By scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 14 014

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 2 684

Pay no mind

By Jlhfan90 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 223

You deserved it 19 483

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 17:40 - United States

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 3 123

By nonfreehugs - 04/10/2012 05:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 2 535

By TKay916 - 20/11/2012 08:47 - United States - Rescue

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 478

You deserved it 31 309

TKay916 tells us more.

TKay916 15

Tuesday 20 November 2012 18:11

Actually it is. I received a notice in the mail 2 weeks ago saying they'll renew my membership on the 25th and then bill me.

By Clementine - 27/11/2012 11:36 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 251

You deserved it 4 638

Birdwatching

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 678

You deserved it 5 316

Thanks for your service

By really - 19/02/2013 15:27 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 8 551

Bother-in-law

By disgruntled stepdaughter - 06/03/2013 19:11 - United States - Reno

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 666

You deserved it 2 734

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 808

You deserved it 4 873

And you ask find yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

By soontobesingle - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 071

You deserved it 4 425

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 065

You deserved it 64 739

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 20:53 - United Kingdom - Bromley

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 106

You deserved it 14 340

By sex deprived - 16/06/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 274

You deserved it 11 670

By NickDrakeFan - 29/10/2013 01:57 - United States

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 4 562

By wasted time - 19/12/2013 09:09 - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 158

You deserved it 3 179

By ugh - 21/01/2014 18:55 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 479

You deserved it 6 041

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 18:13 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 4 489