jordanb19

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About Jordanb19

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Jordanb19's favorite FMLs

It's just a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 12:15 - United States - Hanover

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled, "Geronimo!" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 213

You deserved it 3 232

By humbug - 13/05/2012 13:08 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been paying her half of the rent by taking my ATM card and getting money from my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 543

You deserved it 5 619

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 04:07 - United States - Apache Junction

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 4 885

By henley - 23/07/2012 01:33

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 70 014

By wdunn69733 - 11/10/2012 14:30 - United States - Macon

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 470

You deserved it 10 181

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 18:10 - United States - Gerber

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 3 881

By it's just a name - 10/01/2013 05:53 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 345

You deserved it 6 331

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 08:24 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 013

You deserved it 6 706

By Imafishyfishy - 27/03/2013 06:47 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 2 975

Imafishyfishy tells us more.

Imafishyfishy 11

Wednesday 27 March 2013 19:29

Oh wow! It actually got posted! I'm the OP here, and I'm 19, the reason I'm confused is because when I finished high school he and I were going to move down to Florida together so I could go to college, and I got really sick, so we stayed here. My mom was completely fine with it when we were going to move out of state but now that we're moving to the apartment complex not even a mile away. I asked her for clarification and she told me that I knew what she meant. So I asked my dad, and he told me the same thing. I think they might be screwing with me.

By fuck YOLO - 03/04/2013 05:20 - United States - Ramona

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 360

You deserved it 3 933