By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved
jordanb19
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The Mixer
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Santa Claus
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Profile completed
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
One more and it's business time
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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Jordanb19's favorite FMLs
By Anonymous - 09/10/2011 00:24 - United States
By lollymay13 - 11/10/2011 15:22 - Ireland
lollymay13 tells us more.
He's got the moves
By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States
Parental advice
By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States
By notsohappilyeverafter - 26/11/2011 21:54 - United States
By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 11:54 - Australia
By ThinZ - 24/12/2011 00:26 - United States
By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom
Ouch
By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States
By replik - 25/01/2012 15:50 - Russian Federation
The truth
By Class - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newton Center
By angry girlfriend - 22/05/2012 14:32 - Canada - Montreal
LEAVE ME ALONE
By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States
By heartbroken - 14/07/2012 01:41 - Canada - Brantford
Weird
By not the scalpel - 15/09/2012 07:36 - United States - Paso Robles
By assholecat - 10/10/2012 08:43 - Australia - Brisbane
assholecat tells us more.
Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!
By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States
By fuzz94 - 14/11/2012 09:06 - Australia - Brisbane
fuzz94 tells us more.
Nah, she was just shocked when my volcano erupted, and in a spout of horror and confusion she decided that my face would be an appropriate place to wipe her hand. At least she kept it off my clothes huh!
By Tonguetied0496 - 10/12/2012 07:21 - United States - Claremont
Just so you all know, I am not afraid of my pet snake. The FML was a mixture of a) the snake had been in an obvious hiding place, a dark enclosed space, all along. And b) because anything that falls on your bloody head outside is going to give you a fright! He is healthy and happy, he didn't die, and has not escaped since! :) And as for all the St.Patrick comments.... 'driving the snakes out of Ireland' was a metaphor for the Catholics driving all of the Pagans out of Ireland. Of course there are real snakes here.... actually pagans too. Well there ya go! lol :) x